Thursday, January 1, 2009

God, Thank you!


I felt it, as it embraced me. I saw it, as it looked into my eyes. I heard it, as it spoke these words with a tight hug…"Mom, I love you so much."

Last night as my daughter and I were standing in the bathroom, doing what girls do before bedtime…forgiveness showed up. It was quite unexpected. But that’s just how our Father God is; He’s always giving us sweet little surprises,touches of joy to remind us of His goodness.

Many of you, who have read my story (God’s Story) of the secret sin that I carried, know the struggles I had in my relationship with Sydney. There were many nights during that season of my life that I would cry out to God for understanding and forgiveness.

I was so ashamed of the words that were spoken from my mouth towards her. Many times she would grab my hand, as little girls do, only to feel her mommy’s hand pulling back with angry words that followed. Thoughts would race through my head of ways I could escape from these emotions that I knew weren’t pleasing to God.

But God is faithful in His Word. He tells us many times, that if we seek His face and confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us. Throughout this dark time, I never stopped seeking God, I just didn’t believe.

To believe, would reveal He had forgiven me of the choice I made on November 12, 1989, the choice to have an abortion. To believe would mean that He wanted me to enjoy this gift I was given, my daughter.
It was when I no longer stood in front of my Father with a rebellious heart that I came to understand. Our hands can be clean, as we reach towards His throne and our words can be sweet as we give honor to our Creator, but if our hearts are rebellious in receiving God’s forgiveness…all hope is lost.

So, last night was a gentle kiss from my Father God to show me of the hope that I once couldn’t see and it was now embracing me…my daughter’s forgiveness.

Psalm 32:1-2

Oh, what joy for
those whose disobedience is forgiven,

whose sin is put out of
sight!

Yes, what joy for those whose record
the Lord has cleared of
guilt,

whose lives are lived in complete
honesty!




Tammy

20 comments:

LisaShaw said...

Tammy my beautiful friend,

This has touched and penetrated my heart so deeply as I read it tears flowed and then...

I praised the LORD. He is so compassionate, caring, loving, merciful and forgiving and often that is shown through someone else so clearly as was the experience between you and your daughter. Beautiful.

Happy, blessed new year --- looks like you're definitely off to a wonderful start.

I love you.

Chatty Kelly said...

So happy for you & your daughter. You both are beautiful in picture!

Happy New Year, Tammy.

Sherri Watt said...

Tammy, This touched my heart and brought a tear to my eye. I know times like this and they are something that makes your heart feel overwhelmed. You are loved, He wanted you to know that. What a personal God we serve.

Happy New Year!

Kim said...

Our God is just so good!! So happy for you Tammy!

Happy New Year!
Kim

Laura said...

Oh, Tammy. What a beautiful gift. I rejoice with you! May 2009 hold many more sweet surprises from Him...

ktwalden said...

Such a sweet, sweet, post! What precious blessings we receive from the Lord!

Cricket said...

Tammy,
Have you noticed...God is always teaching us...always helping us...always working on us...and always trying to heal us? He is always there for us to grasp...he is always there...sending a hug from above, it is up to us to see him, love him, let him, and embrace him.

God Bless you
Tessa

Jody said...

As I read this post, "I felt it, as it embraced me." I thought of Deuteronomy 33:27a: "The eternal God is your dwelling place and underneath are the everlasting arms..."
God is so good.
Happy 2009.

Bonnie said...

Hi Tammy! Your daughter is beautiful and that is a precious photo of the two of you. My heart rejoices for the fullness that God continues to bestow.

Thank you for the compliment. Some day I pray it will be as fancy as yours:)

I pray God's best over you and your family this year!

Much love,
Bonnie
extendedhope.com

Debra said...

Tammy,

Now I'm the one smiling! My son's verse for this year is Jeremiah 33:3...what you just spoke of here, reminded me again of that verse.

May you be blessed, sweet sister, of your cry to God and his answer!

Blessings to you!

Edie said...

I'm so glad for you Tammy! I pray that God will restore the years the locuts have eaten in my relationship with my daughter too. Different story but it will still take His Hand to change it. What a wonderful start to a new year for you and your daughter. Rich blessings to you!

Lori said...

Tammy,

How great to find forgiveness! "You have turned my mourning into dancing!" Praise the Lord! Blessings!

Paula (SweetPea) said...

What a beautiful gift from your daughter and your Heavenly Father. I've not followed you long so now I need to make time to read your story.

Thanks for sharing this beautiful glimpse of healing and forgiveness.
Sweet blessings,
Paula

Marsha said...

Big smile on my face... I just love it when God shows up.

Have a blessed evening.

bo said...

Blessed Assurance - of His love and grace!
How wonderful that He allows us such incredible moments.
bo

bo said...

ps - I'm lovin' the new look! It's all you!
bo

Paula (SweetPea) said...

I've just read through your God Story and I now understand why this moment was so very special and GRAND to you. Wow!

the voice of melody said...

How touching! Glad you had that special and meaningful moment with your daughter. That's something worth rejoicing over! :)

Pat said...

Tammy,
How precious to read this story. God is FULL of surprises and blessings. MORE than we can hope or imagine. You just wait girlfriend. As you move out and obey His call, amazing things happen!!
Bless you lady,
Pat

elaine @ peace for the journey said...

Tammy:

The forgiveness of a God is the richest fare I have tasted. His table of grace keeps feeding the heavy and the hurt I've brought upon myself via sinful and willfull choices. And when I catch a glimpse of his grace through the hugs and unconditional love of my children, I am reminded of everything that's good and right and pure about this life.

Thank God for his whispers of mercy that come to us from the hearts of others.

peace~elaine
PS: Thanks for visiting the blog. You're welcome here anytime.