Saturday, June 26, 2010

Inspiration 365 Days a Year | Inspriation 365 Day a Year Movie

Inspiration 365 Days a Year | Inspriation 365 Day a Year Movie



Reading these quotes, reminded me of my mother's wisdom as she lead me down the road called "Life." (smile)

Mom would say:
"If the farmer can get the milk free from the cow, he isn't gonna buy it!"
"Well honey, if their talking about you, then they're leaving everyone else alone."

Tammy

Monday, June 21, 2010

Changing One Heart for Many...wk 23

If you’re visiting for the first time and you don’t know my story (God’s Story), you may want to check it on the left-hand side bar under “My Secret Sin.” I was one of those human beings who needed a heart change. If you have had an abortion, I want you to know you will find no condemnation here, but you will find Truth wrapped in grace and mercy. God has brought you here because He doesn’t want you to hurt and feel ashamed anymore, but what He does want from you is to trust Him with your pain. Will you do that? I hope so. If you need to talk or need prayer, click on ‘profile’ for email.


I can’t seem to get Father’s Day out of my mind, even though the official celebration is over. I keep thinking about the young man (I shared in post wk 14 and 15) who faced an unplanned pregnancy, then made the decision to support his girlfriend with the choice to have an abortion. Repeatedly, since yesterday, the question has been “What was he feelings on Father’s Day?”

My mind filled with thoughts, as I sat in church on Father’s Day of how many men were sitting in the pews with this “secret sin.” Questions kept popping up in my little brain like.... Do they feel the same lost as the woman who physical carried the child, then went through with the abortion? Do they think about the child's birth date? Maybe they too wonder if the child would have looked like them. Could they be thinking, what it would’ve sounded like to hear “Daddy, I love you.”

That's when I thought about young man, who would be anticipating the birth of his child, if he had only trusted God. I wanted to call him on the phone to see how he was doing. To ask those very questions that earlier in the day had been swimming around in my head. But I couldn’t… so I prayed.

Father God,
I know that nothing goes unseen; You see it all. You see the hearts of so many whom everyday chooses to hide from You. Lord, I wish that I could request, on behalf of this young man, for You to forgive him of this sin, but I can’t, only he can.

So, Lord, I pray for his heart to soften along with anyone else who has been touched by abortion, so they will know of the amazing Grace and Mercy that awaits them. I ask for this one heart to be changed… In Jesus Precious Name, Amen!


Here a video of one heart that has been changed who spoke out  for the Silent No More

Tammy

Monday, June 7, 2010

Changing One Heart for Many...wk 21

   If you’re visiting for the first time and you don’t know my story (God’s Story), you may want to check it on the left-hand side bar under “My Secret Sin.” I was one of those human beings who needed a heart change. If you have had an abortion, I want you to know you will find no condemnation here, but you will find Truth wrapped in grace and mercy. God has brought you here because He doesn’t want you to hurt and feel ashamed anymore, but what He does want from you is to trust Him with your pain. Will you do that? I hope so. If you need to talk or need prayer, click on ‘profile’ for email.

 Atonement- Reconciliation or an instance of reconciliation between God and humans.

“I shouldn’t be thinking this, but I want to have another baby. There's an emptiness that I'm feeling and another baby would fill it” she said with questionable voice. Immediately the thoughts of desiring to make up for what I had done came rushing back to me. I, too, made the choice to end my child’s life by having an abortion and within a year I wanted so desperately to undone my selfish act. Like the young lady, who was sitting across from me, having another baby made sense? Didn’t it?

 The above conversation is not uncommon; as a matter of fact it is quite common. There is much regret after having an abortion. That is, once the feeling of relief has left and guilt takes its place, all you can think about is… how I can make it right.

The day that I conceived my daughter was to be my day of atonement with God. Our daughter was planned, at least I planned her. By having this baby, it was going to take the place of my aborted child. I wanted to show God that I was worthy of His love. I was going to show Him that I was truly sorry for placing my life before the child's life, and by having another baby, it would the ultimate sacrifice to receiving God’s forgiveness. 

But within a year, I started to withdraw from her and my relationship with my daughter, Sydney, became estranged. I wanted to love her but couldn’t. Oh, I was a great pretender around other mothers. One minute, I would smother her with kisses and the next minute I was telling her how much of a burden she had become. Feelings of guilt and angry swirled around her for the next thirteen years of her life.

Soon I realized that I wasn’t the only one with these feelings and that I couldn’t do ANYTHING to earn God’s forgiveness! His forgiveness was free! God sent his Son to die for my sins (our sins), all of them,and all I needed was to confess, receive God's forgiveness and believe in His Son.

His Son was the Atonement for my sins... not my child.


Romans 4:7-8 “Blessed are they
      whose transgressions are forgiven,
      whose sins are covered.
  Blessed is the man
      whose sin the Lord will never count against him."


Today, my relationship with my daughter has been restored and I’m so blessed to be her mother. She is growing into a beautiful young woman inside and out. I can’t explain why Sydney holds no animosity towards me.

She once explained to a newspaper reporter (who was writing about the abortion) her thoughts about our relationship. When asked if she understood why her mother acted this way towards her, her reply was “All I knew was that my mommy did love me and I loved her. She just didn’t know how to show me, until she could love herself.”

Father, my heart can't even express how thankful I am for Your love that filled my child's heart, when I couldn't.

Father God,
Thank you for Your love that continues to flow through us, even when we don't know how to love. Thank you for never leaving us during our times of rebellion and I ask for the Holy Spirit to stir the hearts of those who are still hiding from You. I pray that they will hear Your whispering words..."Where are you, my child?" In Jesus name...Amen!

Tammy