I want you to share.
But LORD, I don’t think they will understand unless they’ve been there. Well,
many have, but they think too that no one will understand, that’s why I want you to share.
I had decided to forgo participating in the Blog Hop this
week until the conversation above took place during my workout at the gym this
morning. I have to say, God at times, picks the strangest places to have a
conversation with you. So, here is what He wanted me to share…
Along life’s journey, I’ve been asked the question of how many
children do I have and the answer has always been two. But this particular
evening, about three years ago, as I was standing with my friend and her mother
(which I just meet) in the lobby of a church when the “question” came. With a
little bit of hesitation I answered “ I have two children.” Immediately, I
heard the Holy Spirit clear His throat saying, “You don’t have two children but three. Go ahead and tell her the truth.” #SayWhat! “There is no way she is going to
understand, if I tell her the truth!” was my comeback. “She doesn’t have too, but you need to acknowledge your child. Go
ahead, I AM with you.”
I didn’t understand and I was scared to death but I stopped
in the middle of the sentence and said “ Well, that not true. You see, I have
three children, a son 28, a daughter 17 and a one who died ( her response was…
“Oooh” before I could get to the end of my sentence) because I chose to have an
abortion that I totally regret now. I could see in her eyes she was trying to comprehend
it, so I continued “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable, but I can’t deny my
child’s existence anymore, I hope you understand?” With a half smile on her
face, she said “Well, I’m sure at the time you didn’t know what to do?.” With a
half smile on my face I left it at that.
We ended the night with a hug along with “It was nice
meeting you and have a safe trip home.”
Walking back to my car I was still
confused with why I had to go there, yet I was relieved knowing I didn’t have
to hide him (my child) anymore. On the way home, God let me know that it was
important not to ignore my child’s life because you see, my friend, she had
just finished going through the post-abortion bible study with me as her mentor.
She knew my story and she had learned how important it was to be honest about
our abortion(s) because if we don’t shame has a way of creeping back into our
lives.
It wasn’t easy that night and when I share “my” next step in
this testimony of mine with women who I have the privilege to mentor, they say...
“I don’t think I will ever be able to be that opened about my abortion(s).” And
I gently reply “All I can say is if He speaks to your heart in this area say
#YesToGod.”
