To follow this story start with: My Secret Sin 5/08/08
I would like to thank all of you who have visited my blog and for coming back over the last several months to read my story (God’s Story)…My Secret Sin. I didn’t share my story to shock anyone but my intention was to show God’s grace and how we can trust in His Word.
There are days I still visit my past, not so I will walk around with my eyes looking at the ground full of shame…oh no! But just like Joseph, I’m reminded how God took this awful experience and is now using it to His glory. What Satan meant for evil, God is using it for good; I give God all the glory!
Since I have begun telling my story, whether it be at the hairdresser’s or at a speaking event, God has saturated me with His love and has given me the courage to speak about this difficult subject. My heart goes out to women who at one time in their lives felt abortion was the only answer. I know what it’s like to hide a secret and to be afraid to tell anyone, in fear of judgment. I must admit every time I would push the button to publish my post I could hear the voice of the enemy, whispering to me that no one would care to read about my secret and I would be hurting my daughter by sharing my thoughts of hatred towards her, that I once had. I want to assure you before I even started to share; I had a heart to heart talk with her and she gave me her blessing.
Talking with her about her brother isn’t easy but it is healing. We’ve even planted a Japanese Cherry tree in our flower garden and placed a statute of a little boy reading a book while seating on a bench in memory of Christian Daniel. A little over year ago I went to a memorial for about four women who went through our abortion recovery bible study at the center, where I volunteer. I, myself had already been to a memorial for children lost through an abortion, miscarriage or stillbirths, this part of the program is very healing. But I needed to be there for this one because of my involvement with the bible study, so this time I invited my husband and daughter to participate and they did. The service was held at my church and my pastor spoke at the memorial. Many tears were shed that day; many hearts for the first time spoke the name of their child (children) and my family, it was the first time we as a family mourned for Christian…publicly.
You may not have had an abortion, but I’m sure something has touched your life to the point of drawing you closer to God or maybe it's kept you at a distance. It may not be the time for you to share your secret but when it is…God will let you know.
I’m not sure what God has planned next for me with this new found way of communicating…blogging,but whatever it is I promise to step out in faith and just do it!