Monday, September 15, 2008

Just Do It

To follow this story start with: My Secret Sin 5/08/08

I would like to thank all of you who have visited my blog and for coming back over the last several months to read my story (God’s Story)…My Secret Sin. I didn’t share my story to shock anyone but my intention was to show God’s grace and how we can trust in His Word.

There are days I still visit my past, not so I will walk around with my eyes looking at the ground full of shame…oh no! But just like Joseph, I’m reminded how God took this awful experience and is now using it to His glory. What Satan meant for evil, God is using it for good; I give God all the glory!

Since I have begun telling my story, whether it be at the hairdresser’s or at a speaking event, God has saturated me with His love and has given me the courage to speak about this difficult subject. My heart goes out to women who at one time in their lives felt abortion was the only answer. I know what it’s like to hide a secret and to be afraid to tell anyone, in fear of judgment. I must admit every time I would push the button to publish my post I could hear the voice of the enemy, whispering to me that no one would care to read about my secret and I would be hurting my daughter by sharing my thoughts of hatred towards her, that I once had. I want to assure you before I even started to share; I had a heart to heart talk with her and she gave me her blessing.

Talking with her about her brother isn’t easy but it is healing. We’ve even planted a Japanese Cherry tree in our flower garden and placed a statute of a little boy reading a book while seating on a bench in memory of Christian Daniel. A little over year ago I went to a memorial for about four women who went through our abortion recovery bible study at the center, where I volunteer. I, myself had already been to a memorial for children lost through an abortion, miscarriage or stillbirths, this part of the program is very healing. But I needed to be there for this one because of my involvement with the bible study, so this time I invited my husband and daughter to participate and they did. The service was held at my church and my pastor spoke at the memorial. Many tears were shed that day; many hearts for the first time spoke the name of their child (children) and my family, it was the first time we as a family mourned for Christian…publicly.

You may not have had an abortion, but I’m sure something has touched your life to the point of drawing you closer to God or maybe it's kept you at a distance. It may not be the time for you to share your secret but when it is…God will let you know.

I’m not sure what God has planned next for me with this new found way of communicating…blogging,but whatever it is I promise to step out in faith and just do it!

10 comments:

Edie said...

Thank you for your transparency and your obedience to the Lord.

Alene said...

To God be the Glory! He has freed us all from our past and turned our past from shame to beauty! Keep your eyes on Him and yes, just do it -- keep writing, keep sharing, keep running the race, keep encouraging others! Love ya girl!

My ADHD Me said...

Your honesty and "from the heart" words touch me....and believe me, I like to consider myself "untouchable". My sister, Chatty Kelly, has always been the more open and welcoming one. I on the other hand have always done everything I could to be a rock and keep my wall built up high and strong.

isn't it funny, 2 kids, exact same (very difficult) childhood equals 2 COMPLETELY different women, who are very much alike.

Anyway, thanks for sharing your story.

Lelia Chealey said...

Beautiful display of obedience my friend! God is really using you!
Love,
Lelia
I loved Lysa's post today too!

Chatty Kelly said...

You are an inspiration for sharing your story. And a strong woman for being able to obey God.

Jill said...

Thank you for your comment on my blog. It is a wonderful feeling to know I am not alone (sadly). I can sense how telling the "secret" is healing. Perhaps I will start with my own blog. I would love to share my story with you! And just like that, you have been added to my prayers!

Jill

Cricket said...

Tammy,
I don't want you to think that I'm here to critisize you...I'm not, I'm here to be honest...The first chapter of Behing those Eyes...to be authentic...

My initial thought when I read your blog was, "How could she do this?" Now understand that I only read the first part of your story and that I have been trying unsuccessfully for 2 years to have a child of my own...But then...I read the rest of your story, read the first chapter of the book, and answered the question. While I was answering the question I found myself telling a small portion of my hidden life. I closed down the computer and started folding laundry and thought about you. I feel like I need to be honest and I have been, but then compairing my hidden life with yours...it dawned on me...we have to learn to LOVE ourselves, acknowledge the choices made in our lives and own them...we wouldn't be where we are if not for the paths we chose to follow. Maybe not the right path spiritually at the time, but God knows our life story before we do. And it seems as though from breaking free of the burdons from the choices we made in life...we have came closer to God...wanted him more. God is a forgiving God and he LOVES us with undenying LOVE.

God bless you for sharing your story and your "secret". He has inspired you to tell now...to get it off of you chest and out into the open, not just in your mind, weighing you down. We never know who we will touch or who we are helping, but if God has truely placed it in our hearts to do...it's not going to go void.

Keep on keeping on, and remember to LOVE yourself. Love God and depend upon him, call out to him first, then LOVE yourself and it will all come together with loving your family the way you should.

It says in the bible to confess your faults one to another that you may be healed. I feel that means spiritually...I don't think that you get physically sick because you have an unconfessed fault. I'll be praying for you. And from someone who has had a hidden secret, keeping us from being authentic...it may not be an easy road, but with God, he will see us through.

Tess

Amy~Saved by Grace said...

I have read all the post to your story tonight. I just couldn't stop with one. What a great story of God's redeeming love for you. He never gave up on you. I recently surrendering to the calling of this ministry that God has had on my life for the last couple of years now. You can read my story on my blog.

Kim said...

Tammy,

I just read through your story and the tears are flowing. Tears of sadness for Christian Daniel and tears of JOY for what the Lord has done through you and is continuing to do. God is being honored by your obedience to HIM. And I am being challenged by you to be real in my own life. It is the ONLY way we can bring glory to God and his never-ending grace!

blessings,
Kim

Jan Parrish said...

Tammy, wow.
What a wonderful story of healing and redemption. Thank you so much for sharing.