God, Thank you!

I felt it, as it embraced me. I saw it, as it looked into my eyes. I heard it, as it spoke these words with a tight hug…"Mom, I love you so much."

Last night as my daughter and I were standing in the bathroom, doing what girls do before bedtime…forgiveness showed up. It was quite unexpected. But that’s just how our Father God is; He’s always giving us sweet little surprises,touches of joy to remind us of His goodness.

Many of you, who have read my story (God’s Story) of the secret sin that I carried, know the struggles I had in my relationship with Sydney. There were many nights during that season of my life that I would cry out to God for understanding and forgiveness.

I was so ashamed of the words that were spoken from my mouth towards her. Many times she would grab my hand, as little girls do, only to feel her mommy’s hand pulling back with angry words that followed. Thoughts would race through my head of ways I could escape from these emotions that I knew weren’t pleasing to God.

But God is faithful in His Word. He tells us many times, that if we seek His face and confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us. Throughout this dark time, I never stopped seeking God, I just didn’t believe.

To believe, would reveal He had forgiven me of the choice I made on November 12, 1989, the choice to have an abortion. To believe would mean that He wanted me to enjoy this gift I was given, my daughter.
It was when I no longer stood in front of my Father with a rebellious heart that I came to understand. Our hands can be clean, as we reach towards His throne and our words can be sweet as we give honor to our Creator, but if our hearts are rebellious in receiving God’s forgiveness…all hope is lost.

So, last night was a gentle kiss from my Father God to show me of the hope that I once couldn’t see and it was now embracing me…my daughter’s forgiveness.

Psalm 32:1-2

Oh, what joy for
those whose disobedience is forgiven,
whose sin is put out of
sight!
Yes, what joy for those whose record
the Lord has cleared of
guilt,
whose lives are lived in complete
honesty!

Romans 12:1-2

And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him. 2 Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.

When this sciripture was revealed to me it changed my life. I learned that I needed to give up my worldly desires and sinful thoughts. To take my eyes off things that weren't pure , good and pleasing to God. It was difficult and at times it still is but isn't that the least I can do, look at what Jesus did for us. The pain, suffering and seperation from His Father so that we could, if we accept it, have enteral life.

We must not live in our sins. We must not pick one sin over another just because it's degree of acceptance. Please let not Christ's death and suffering be in vain.

But rise above it all by putting God's Word in our mind, meditate on it daily. Let our eyes look on things that are pure, let our ears hear things that are holy and allow His words to penetrate our hearts.

It is only then you will see what purpose God has planned for you.

Go ahead an give it a try. Become willing to be a doer of the Word, then you will know what is pleasing to Him. He just doesn't want our worship and living sacrifices on Sundays. But He wants our worship and living sacrifices daily.