Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Adoption...are you kidding?

A blank look appears on her face as her eyes focus on the two lines of her test, indicating that she’s pregnant. This wasn’t part of her life’s plan, well aleast not for today. She looked at me as if to say…what am I going to do? We talked about her options and that’s when I mention adoption.

She quickly responded …"No. I wouldn't do an adoption thing. If I'm going to carry this baby for 9 months, I'm not going to give it up! I don't want to have an abortion but I can’t have a baby, right now."

Baffling, isn't it? Yet, these words are proclaimed most of the time and I’m grateful, because it then opens a door for me to reply... "You're looking at someone whose birth mother decided to do the adoption thing and I’m grateful she let me live.”

My mother was just shy of 16 when she delivered me at our local hospital. She was alone and scared. She has told me many times that the young man, who was my dad, really loved her and wanted me; her parents, however, had forbidden him to have any contact with her. She also said that during her stay at the hospital, she heard him out in the hallway yelling “I want to see my baby girl. You can’t do this to me. She’s my daughter!” That was the last thing he said before he was escorted out of the hospital by the police officers.

Within a year of my birth, she met her future husband and became pregnant with my sister. The marriage didn’t last long. Like so many women, there she was… a single mother doing the best she knew how.

But reality finally set in when I was about 2 years old and my sister was 6 months. She knew love wouldn’t feed us, put clothes on our backs or a roof over our heads. She had to do something, so she agreed to place us in the welfare of a couple. A couple who promised to raise us as their own and they did!

I’ve never doubted her love or questioned how someone could do such a thing, my thought as always been…how could you not?

Of course, it was a hard decision for her to make, we’ve talked about it many times in person and over the phone. She frequently tells me… “It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done but I wanted what was best for you, girls. I knew I couldn’t give you all the things you and your sister would need.” Everytime I hear those words, I tell her how thankful I am that she thought of us and I silently wispher "Thank you, LORD."

Sharing my story, doesn’t make anyone eager to sign on the dotted line for the adoption plan but my pray is… maybe one day some young lady will see the child’s life and not her own.


Monday, September 12, 2011

40 Days for Life

As we walked behind the pizza shop to get to the abortion clinic, I couldn't believe that Sydney, my daughter, wanted to participate in a prayer vigil to end abortion, known as 40 Days for Life.

When I had decided to join the very first campaign that was being held in Vestal in 2010, never in my wildest dream did I think that Sydney would be standing next to me.

Why would she? It was at this clinic where I had my abortion before she was born that made my heart turn to stone.

It was over 20 years ago when I made the "decision" to trust my ways and not God's ways. At the time, I wasn't concern with the outcome. To be honest, I never thought that having an abortion would change anything except give ME the freedom to go on living MY LIFE. But I soon learned that taking one life didn't give me freedom, but caused my life to stand still, to be frozen at that very moment, when I walked out the door of the abortion clinic.

It took many tears and a humble heart to bring me to a place of allowing God to restore what Satan had set out to destroy.

So there we were, standing in a small area off to the side of the very clinic that claimed her brother's life. With our heads bowed, and our fingers locked together we prayed to Almighty God to change hearts and save not one life...but two.

Within moments, Sydney softly whispered in my ear... "Mom, this is awesome and sad all at the same time. Awesome because I can feel God's presence and sad because I know the outcome of the decision that is about to take place. I just want to run up to each of those girls and tell them that there's another way." As I lifted my head to respond, I saw my baby girl's eyes filled with tears. Silently, I thanked God for her tender heart and for restoring our relationship.

Starting September 28, 2011, a prayer vigil will be held in Vestal at the abortion clinic. This will be our second year joining 40 Days for Life (locally) to pray for the end of abortion, this is a nationwide campaign. So, won't you consider praying at your local abortion clinic during these 40 days?

God will move the mountain, even if it's one stone at a time.


Sunday, September 4, 2011

Done Wandering...

Its been a long time, way too long some of you might say. While others might say, I didn't know that you were ever gone. Over the last year, I've walked through the wasteland several times, gone around the mountain more then once and have had a couple of pity parties. I'm sure some of my "friends" have wondered if I would ever be back and share " not mine but God's Story" ever again.

Well, today, I'm saying "YES!" I'm ready to put away the plastic plates, stale food and flat soda that has been apart of the on going pity party, where I've allowed satan to be the ONLY invited guest. I'm ready to let God use me through this blog once again,and share the many things that have happened in the last year.

Some stories will bring tears to your eyes, while others will place a song in your heart because of the work God is doing in lives around me. So, starting next week, I hope to share these events in the months to come. Yep, months...because I'm done ignoring God's voice and ready to get His Stories out!