Yes To God On Tuesday

Thank you for dropping by and joining me with our host Lelia, who is leading us through an online bible study. The author Lisa Whittle wrote the book titled “Behind Those Eyes” so that we, as women would desire to go deeper in to our souls and not hide ‘behind those eyes.’

Highlighted in purple is from Lisa's book

I tried. I tried to let go of the awful memories. I remember asking God to forgive me that day I walked into the clinic, so I could continue on with my life. I laid there staring at the small white blocks on the ceiling, again whispering “God, please forgive me.” Walking out clinic and hearing the door close behind me, I wasn’t sure if this rebellious act I had just committed could ever be forgiven. (Read the whole story, here)

I walked around for years with this secret…my abortion. Even as a Christian, I thought my sin was too awful to really believe that God would forgive me. But God brought down the wall I had built to hide my secret; through a bible study called Forgiven and Set Free and with the help of someone who had been there. Yes, I was forgiven by God yet I still couldn’t forgive myself.

This chapter speaks about forgiveness… While Satan would love for you to believe that you are too flawed and too unworthy of forgiveness, Jesus wants you to know that nothing could be farther from truth. You see, there was nothing I could ever do to make Jesus not love me. Here was something else Lisa wrote…Jesus Christ loves and forgives you without conditions, Period.

So, what was the problem? Why was I struggling with depression, shame and the hatred towards my daughter?

Then one day as I was reading God’s Word, another piece of truth was set before me,
Proverbs 28:13 People who conceal their sins will not prosper, but if they confess and turn from them, they will receive mercy.

At first I didn’t understand, I told God that I had confessed my sin (sins) and I was truly sorry. He said “I know, but read on, what’s it say after the confession?” I read the verse again, but this time out loud and it was screaming out at me…turn from them!
God wanted me to know that I was the one going back to the cross where Jesus said "It is finished” and holding on to my sin that I had confessed. I was the one, who was allowing Satan too constantly bring up my past. I had to forsake them. At that moment,I realized I couldn’t forgive myself,God had never asked that of me. God had asked me to receive His forgiveness after my confession!

My sin had been removed and God wanted me to get on with the life He had planned for me. He remembered no more, Psalms 103:12 says…As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us."

So now, when I meet with someone who is struggling with their sin of abortion or an act of sin that has been done to them and they say “I know God has forgiven me but I can’t forgive myself”. I tell them your right, you can’t forgive yourself, God only ask that you forgive the person who has wronged you and receive His forgiveness toward your sin. It was His Son who was crucified for your transgressions. It’s the blood of Jesus who can only cover our sins and make them as white as snow. Your job is to confess, lay them at the cross, walk away and receive God’s mercy.

As coordinator of our abortion recovery program at the center, we always have memorial service, for the women to be able to grieve their loss at the end of the bible study. I would like to share a poem with you that we use as part of our memorial and I think says it all.

A Pre-born Child’s Conversation with His Heavenly Father

Father God, when is my mommy going to be here?
Soon, my child, soon.
Can you tell me how long?
There is no measure of time with me, my child. She is busy right now doing the work I’ve given her to do. When all that is done, she’ll be here.Is she going to know me when she gets here?
Yes, she will, my child. I’ll let her know.What does she look like, Father God?
Why, she looks a lot like you, my child. The same color hair, the same eyes, the same nose; you resemble her a lot.
What do you think she’s going to do when she sees me?
She will run to you, take you in her arms, and love you just as any other loving Mother would do.
Father God, why has she never held me in her arms before?
She never had the chance to do so, my child.Why did she never have the chance, Father God?
I don’t remember, my child. (Della Baker Hutto-March 1994)

Did you catch what He said?