We all have made choices in our lives that have changed us. On November 4,2008 we will be given another choice...please pray for God's will to be done.
During my blog visits today,I stopped by Tea with Tiffany. She has written a letter that will stir your heart. Please visit if you have time.
Friday, October 31, 2008
Saturday, October 25, 2008
I went blog visiting yesterday morning and at Edie’s Rich Gifts, every Friday she has a random question posted. This Friday the question was for us to pick from the definitions related to Romans 12:2-3, you’ll have to go to her site to get the full instructions.:)
Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good,
Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good,
pleasing and perfect will. (Romans 12:1-2)
I choose definition #5…"This is your spiritual act of worship" - This is what it means to worship
I think many people in today’s world would say that they are spiritual. But what are they worshipping? Part of that sentence states in order to have this outward expression, you need to give up, submit, and surrender what it is that you desire.
For many years as a Christian, my life was unfulfilled. I would go to church, read my bible and worship on holy ground, yet walk right back into my world (you can read more about, here). What I came to realize was, I was worshipping through religion and not relationship. I was avoiding the truth, the truth of God’s Word.
The Word of God is what draws you to…your spiritual act of worship. When you take the things of this world that have exalted themselves above God and no longer follow them that is when you can truly worship.
I choose definition #5…"This is your spiritual act of worship" - This is what it means to worship
I think many people in today’s world would say that they are spiritual. But what are they worshipping? Part of that sentence states in order to have this outward expression, you need to give up, submit, and surrender what it is that you desire.
For many years as a Christian, my life was unfulfilled. I would go to church, read my bible and worship on holy ground, yet walk right back into my world (you can read more about, here). What I came to realize was, I was worshipping through religion and not relationship. I was avoiding the truth, the truth of God’s Word.
The Word of God is what draws you to…your spiritual act of worship. When you take the things of this world that have exalted themselves above God and no longer follow them that is when you can truly worship.
In John 4, you find the story about the woman who meets Jesus at the well. I love this woman because here was a gal, who knew her life was miserable. Yet, she continued to avoid and hide from the truth. But during her encounter with Jesus, she wasn’t getting away this time. Jesus tells her…"Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in spirit and in truth."(NIV)
Once again, she tried to avoid what was being said, yet this time she was in the very present of God and He was looking right into her heart. I know we have all been there. It was that time when we could no longer pretend that our way of life was pleasing to Him. It’s the moment when He says to us…it’s all or nothing but you need to choose, either worship Me in spirit and true or don’t worship Me at all. When we finally come face to face with that choice in our life, it is only then, we can have this spiritual act of worship.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Yes to God on Tuesday
Thank you for dropping by and joining me with our host Lelia, who is leading us through an online bible study. The author Lisa Whittle wrote the book titled “Behind Those Eyes” so that we, as women would desire to go deeper in to our souls and not hide ‘behind those eyes.’
Here she comes...Ms. Spirituality!Make-up looks good, not to heavy. Check! My blouse isn’t too low; skirt just the right length. Check! I need to get to church on time, it’s important, but I can’t remember where I placed my bible, oh, there it is. Check!
I’m so glad we made it to church on time. Let’s see, bible in hand, highlighters in purse and a smile on my face as we walk towards the front of the sanctuary to our usually spot. The pastor tells us to turn to the book of John, chapter 3.
Oh look, I already have it highlighted with some thoughts written beside it, I wonder if the person next to me will glance over and then they will see just how spiritual I am. While all the way through the message I softly say…amen, praise the Lord and hallelujah. Yet, I couldn’t stop thinking about the night before when my make-up was heavier, my blouse was lower, my skirt was higher as I sat at the bar with a glass of gin and tonic in my hand. I was a fake but no one knew, like Ms. Spirituality, my performance was just that, a performance.
Every Sunday I would raise my hands to praise the Lord and be the first one up front at the end of the service with all my regrets. I would then leave the church determined that this week would be different.
Lisa writes this statement: Perhaps in her quest for spiritual perfection, like many of us, Ms. Spirituality is asking the wrong question. She is looking at the ritualistic side of her faith, rather then the tangible expression of a deeply rooted love for God.
I had known God for most of my life but I didn’t really know Him until I laid down my alabaster box at His feet. Everything I had loved was in that box. Everything that was special to me. Everything which gave me a sense of being loved, was hidden inside that box. God didn’t want my tears of regret, which only lead to a better performance on Sunday morning…God wanted my alabaster box.
It was the usual Sunday morning; I had gone through my checklist and was ready to close the bedroom door when I noticed my alabaster box sitting on the dresser. I took a deep breath,as I placed it in my hand, although I wasn’t sure why I was taking it with me. I arrived at church on time with my family, bible in hand and highlighters in my purse ready for the message. Again,I would put on a great performance and receive the title of 'Ms. Spirituality'. At the end of the service, I felt a pressing on my heart that I could no longer deny; God didn’t want my words of praise or my good deeds...He wanted my alabaster box.
It was then I reached into my purse and slowly pulled out the box that had been decorated with years of accomplishments and pride. I walked to the front of the church and knelt down, but this time it wasn’t with all my regrets that I was lying at His feet, it was something much more precious…it was my alabaster box.
Oh, I still highlight my bible, I still raise my hands to praise the Lord and I still have a smile on my face as we go to the front of the sanctuary to our usually spot. But now, I have a deeply rooted love for God. My life has come to know God and a great desire to do His will.
Lisa, you were so right when you wrote:
God’s original plan was not for us to prove to Him that we love Him by performing to the best of our spiritual abilities. Rather, He is seeking today what He has always been interested in getting from us: a relationship with Him that is pure of heart and motive, the only goal in mind being to honor Him by doing His will.
I’m not a shamed or guilty for the life I led,but I marvel how God has taken the filthy rags I once wore and has given me the robe of righteousness.
Here she comes...Ms. Spirituality!Make-up looks good, not to heavy. Check! My blouse isn’t too low; skirt just the right length. Check! I need to get to church on time, it’s important, but I can’t remember where I placed my bible, oh, there it is. Check!
I’m so glad we made it to church on time. Let’s see, bible in hand, highlighters in purse and a smile on my face as we walk towards the front of the sanctuary to our usually spot. The pastor tells us to turn to the book of John, chapter 3.
Oh look, I already have it highlighted with some thoughts written beside it, I wonder if the person next to me will glance over and then they will see just how spiritual I am. While all the way through the message I softly say…amen, praise the Lord and hallelujah. Yet, I couldn’t stop thinking about the night before when my make-up was heavier, my blouse was lower, my skirt was higher as I sat at the bar with a glass of gin and tonic in my hand. I was a fake but no one knew, like Ms. Spirituality, my performance was just that, a performance.
Every Sunday I would raise my hands to praise the Lord and be the first one up front at the end of the service with all my regrets. I would then leave the church determined that this week would be different.
Lisa writes this statement: Perhaps in her quest for spiritual perfection, like many of us, Ms. Spirituality is asking the wrong question. She is looking at the ritualistic side of her faith, rather then the tangible expression of a deeply rooted love for God.
I had known God for most of my life but I didn’t really know Him until I laid down my alabaster box at His feet. Everything I had loved was in that box. Everything that was special to me. Everything which gave me a sense of being loved, was hidden inside that box. God didn’t want my tears of regret, which only lead to a better performance on Sunday morning…God wanted my alabaster box.
It was the usual Sunday morning; I had gone through my checklist and was ready to close the bedroom door when I noticed my alabaster box sitting on the dresser. I took a deep breath,as I placed it in my hand, although I wasn’t sure why I was taking it with me. I arrived at church on time with my family, bible in hand and highlighters in my purse ready for the message. Again,I would put on a great performance and receive the title of 'Ms. Spirituality'. At the end of the service, I felt a pressing on my heart that I could no longer deny; God didn’t want my words of praise or my good deeds...He wanted my alabaster box.
It was then I reached into my purse and slowly pulled out the box that had been decorated with years of accomplishments and pride. I walked to the front of the church and knelt down, but this time it wasn’t with all my regrets that I was lying at His feet, it was something much more precious…it was my alabaster box.
Oh, I still highlight my bible, I still raise my hands to praise the Lord and I still have a smile on my face as we go to the front of the sanctuary to our usually spot. But now, I have a deeply rooted love for God. My life has come to know God and a great desire to do His will.
Lisa, you were so right when you wrote:
God’s original plan was not for us to prove to Him that we love Him by performing to the best of our spiritual abilities. Rather, He is seeking today what He has always been interested in getting from us: a relationship with Him that is pure of heart and motive, the only goal in mind being to honor Him by doing His will.
I’m not a shamed or guilty for the life I led,but I marvel how God has taken the filthy rags I once wore and has given me the robe of righteousness.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
A Giveaway That Keeps On Giving
I can still remember the day I walked into the clinic, asking God to forgive me, believing that this was the only answer. No, I wasn't a desperate teenager, my whole life ahead of me college student, a single mom or a married woman who had an affair. I was married and it was my husband baby but to us the timing wasn't right and our marriage was rocky. I won't touch on every detail that happened that day but when I walked out of that clinic,my life was different. At the time I couldn't have put my finger on it, I just knew that I had left a piece of me behind.
Did you know that 75% of abortions take place because a child would interfere with their lives. Sad but true. We may never be able to over turn Roe vs. Wade but there is something we can do. We can reach out to those who are hurting through a bible study that is being offered in a free giveaway over at Surrendering The Secret.
Pat Layton founder of this ministry,has her own story and desire to help women who have made this choice. No, you don't have to be post-aborted, just have the same desire as Pat to bring God's truth into their live.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Yes to God on Tuesdays
Thank you for dropping by and joining me with our host Lelia, who is leading us through an online bible study. The author Lisa Whittle wrote the book titled “Behind Those Eyes” so that we, as women would desire to go deeper in to our souls and not hide ‘behind those eyes.’
anything in purple is from Lisa's book
It was this one small sentence in Lisa’s book that summed it up. Happiness cannot be found inside of us, no matter how hard we try to make it be true.
Ms. Happiness had always been a part of me. To me…happiness came in many different forms from outward appearance, performing on stage, and the change in scenery of men and whatever else I desired at the moment.
The choices I made about how I felt would bring pain if not death to many different people. The more I spent thinking about myself the easier it was to choose death. What can out of my own happiness was...death to purity for my wedding night, death to a marriage, death to our son’s life of being a family, death to my unborn child and death to myself worth. I was determined to run right into the arms of happiness, my happiness.
Our marriage of 12 years was a mess and I was about to destroy our daughter’s life because I wanted to be happy. It wasn’t until 1996 when my husband (no.2) and I were sitting across from a pastor, who was willing to speak truth into our lives. He explained that our marriage wasn’t about what we could get from the other person but it was about what we had to offer to each other. Then he said these words “Life isn’t about you!” He went on to say that if we wanted our marriage to work, then we needed to take our eyes off ourselves, put them on Jesus and His will for our lives.
There Jesus stood, my husband on one side and I on the other, looking into my eyes, He whispered “You must choose life or death for your marriage.” I knew at that moment I would never be happy if I continued down the road of…self fulfillment.
My life has change so much since that day because I chose to fix my eyes on Jesus. He has given me the love to respect my husband; He’s healed the pain from my past so I can love who He has created me to be. He has stirred my heart to be totally committed to Him and my family.
There was another question Lisa’s asked at the end of the study “Think about a person you know who emulates true joy.”
Did you have someone in mind? For me the answer came quickly, I’ve talked about her in Ms. Confidence…my mom.
She led a simple life. She never demanded anything that would put the focus on herself. Her words were always kind; her home was always welcoming and her life display the love of Jesus. She had many trials in her life but there are two trials where I saw true joy,only God can give.
When she was about 84 years old she fell in the bath tub breaking the first two vertebras in her neck. The doctor told us it was a miracle she had the ability to walk; while he was instructing us on how to care for her as she would be wearing a neck brace for year or so.
About a month later, I noticed mom was going into a deep depression, which had never been a part of her life before. So, one day sitting at the kitchen table I said “Mom, what is wrong?” “You seem so unhappy, it’s not like you.” She looked at me with tears in her eyes and with a soft voice replied “I can’t read my bible because of this brace.” I immediately went looking for her bible, returned to the table and began reading God’s Word to her. Oh…the smile that came to her face, the joy I saw in her eyes and the life that had returned to her soul.
Satan has tried many times to cause my mother to curse God, even to the very end of her life. In this post you will see the second trial of true joy in my mom’s life.
When I first started this bible study I thought it would be a good way to connect with other Christian women but it has turned out to be so much more. Through this study I’m learning what my mother knew; happiness doesn’t come by the way of how you feel but by Who you know. May we all be remembered as a woman who emulated true joy.
anything in purple is from Lisa's book
It was this one small sentence in Lisa’s book that summed it up. Happiness cannot be found inside of us, no matter how hard we try to make it be true.
Ms. Happiness had always been a part of me. To me…happiness came in many different forms from outward appearance, performing on stage, and the change in scenery of men and whatever else I desired at the moment.
The choices I made about how I felt would bring pain if not death to many different people. The more I spent thinking about myself the easier it was to choose death. What can out of my own happiness was...death to purity for my wedding night, death to a marriage, death to our son’s life of being a family, death to my unborn child and death to myself worth. I was determined to run right into the arms of happiness, my happiness.
Our marriage of 12 years was a mess and I was about to destroy our daughter’s life because I wanted to be happy. It wasn’t until 1996 when my husband (no.2) and I were sitting across from a pastor, who was willing to speak truth into our lives. He explained that our marriage wasn’t about what we could get from the other person but it was about what we had to offer to each other. Then he said these words “Life isn’t about you!” He went on to say that if we wanted our marriage to work, then we needed to take our eyes off ourselves, put them on Jesus and His will for our lives.
There Jesus stood, my husband on one side and I on the other, looking into my eyes, He whispered “You must choose life or death for your marriage.” I knew at that moment I would never be happy if I continued down the road of…self fulfillment.
My life has change so much since that day because I chose to fix my eyes on Jesus. He has given me the love to respect my husband; He’s healed the pain from my past so I can love who He has created me to be. He has stirred my heart to be totally committed to Him and my family.
There was another question Lisa’s asked at the end of the study “Think about a person you know who emulates true joy.”
Did you have someone in mind? For me the answer came quickly, I’ve talked about her in Ms. Confidence…my mom.
She led a simple life. She never demanded anything that would put the focus on herself. Her words were always kind; her home was always welcoming and her life display the love of Jesus. She had many trials in her life but there are two trials where I saw true joy,only God can give.
When she was about 84 years old she fell in the bath tub breaking the first two vertebras in her neck. The doctor told us it was a miracle she had the ability to walk; while he was instructing us on how to care for her as she would be wearing a neck brace for year or so.
About a month later, I noticed mom was going into a deep depression, which had never been a part of her life before. So, one day sitting at the kitchen table I said “Mom, what is wrong?” “You seem so unhappy, it’s not like you.” She looked at me with tears in her eyes and with a soft voice replied “I can’t read my bible because of this brace.” I immediately went looking for her bible, returned to the table and began reading God’s Word to her. Oh…the smile that came to her face, the joy I saw in her eyes and the life that had returned to her soul.
Satan has tried many times to cause my mother to curse God, even to the very end of her life. In this post you will see the second trial of true joy in my mom’s life.
When I first started this bible study I thought it would be a good way to connect with other Christian women but it has turned out to be so much more. Through this study I’m learning what my mother knew; happiness doesn’t come by the way of how you feel but by Who you know. May we all be remembered as a woman who emulated true joy.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Six unspectacular things
I've been tagged by my friend Carol. After looking over the game and realizing there isn't any
running involved,like...Duck,Duck,Goose. I've decide to play.
So here are the rules:
1. Link to the person who tagged you. Carol is her name and blog is her game:)
2. Post these Rules.
3. Tell 6 Unspectacular Things About Yourself.
4. Tag 6 fellow bloggers.
Here are my 6 unspectacular things about me.
1. As a young girl I loved going to my friend's farm and walking barefoot through fresh cow manure.
2. I hate to iron and try to avoid it at all costs!
3. I must have my popcorn every Friday and Saturday night,at least 3 bowls each night....popped over the stove with butter.
4. Growing up I had a monkey named Danny. (a real one)
I was having trouble coming up with the last two unspectacular things about me. So, I asked my daughter and here is what she said... "Well Mom, your pretty normal,I mean your not famous or rich but you know how to work with what you have." Out of the mouths of babes :)
This was fun and I'm not out of breath. To all my bloggings friends if you want to play,leave me a comment so I can see what are some unspectacular things about you.
running involved,like...Duck,Duck,Goose. I've decide to play.
So here are the rules:
1. Link to the person who tagged you. Carol is her name and blog is her game:)
2. Post these Rules.
3. Tell 6 Unspectacular Things About Yourself.
4. Tag 6 fellow bloggers.
Here are my 6 unspectacular things about me.
1. As a young girl I loved going to my friend's farm and walking barefoot through fresh cow manure.
2. I hate to iron and try to avoid it at all costs!
3. I must have my popcorn every Friday and Saturday night,at least 3 bowls each night....popped over the stove with butter.
4. Growing up I had a monkey named Danny. (a real one)
I was having trouble coming up with the last two unspectacular things about me. So, I asked my daughter and here is what she said... "Well Mom, your pretty normal,I mean your not famous or rich but you know how to work with what you have." Out of the mouths of babes :)
This was fun and I'm not out of breath. To all my bloggings friends if you want to play,leave me a comment so I can see what are some unspectacular things about you.
Saturday, October 11, 2008
What's your deSign?
This week over at Edie’s blog, her Random Question is ‘What is your deSign?’
I always enjoyed being center of attention, which I’m sure if you are a regular visitor, you know that by now. I guess it’s why my parents decided to put me in to dance lessons at the age of 5. But it wasn’t until many years later,it was discovered that acting ran through my blood.
I always enjoyed being center of attention, which I’m sure if you are a regular visitor, you know that by now. I guess it’s why my parents decided to put me in to dance lessons at the age of 5. But it wasn’t until many years later,it was discovered that acting ran through my blood.
I entered many competitions during my dancing career and did alright,but it wasn’t until I was teenager when I lip-synced to Liza Minnelli's song...Life's a Cabaret. At that moment I was hooked!
In the year of 1993 I surrender my life completely to Christ and closed down my dance studio because I couldn’t serve two gods. Even though my life was being filled with other wonderful things I still missed the stage. In my prayers, I would ask God to use me for His purpose and He did. He opened the door to let me use the gift of acting. A gift He purposely gave me the moment I was placed in my mother’s womb.
In the year of 1993 I surrender my life completely to Christ and closed down my dance studio because I couldn’t serve two gods. Even though my life was being filled with other wonderful things I still missed the stage. In my prayers, I would ask God to use me for His purpose and He did. He opened the door to let me use the gift of acting. A gift He purposely gave me the moment I was placed in my mother’s womb.
I now participate in our church plays and travel to other churches portraying the women of the Bible…my favorite is the Woman at the Well. I love how God has deSign each and every one of us so differently yet the same…to honor Him
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Yes to God on Tuesdays
For all of us,along with our wonderful host Lilea, who have been reading this book ‘Behind Those Eyes’ by Lisa Whittle, we are finding truth with every turning page. Some of us have heard God’s whisper, while others have needed a little bit bolder approach like flashing neon lights, to go along with the whispers of God’s voice. No matter how God is speaking to all of us, isn’t it wonderful He loves us so much to never leave us where we are.
All purple highlighted is out of Lisa’s book.
As you read this post or ones before it, you will find that I hid my identity and pretended I could control whatever came along. So, in the next half of my life I’ve decided to be honest with God and you…isn’t that what this book is all about? Getting to know who is 'Behind Those Eyes'…right? Well, for the last several days my mind has been debating on what I should write about in this chapter.
It was this paragraph in Lisa’s book that jumped out at me: The idea of making one's own decisions about her body and what to do with it is an idea Ms. Confidence highly esteems. Making decisions about your own body seems like the epitome of confidence. It has become a gender-empowering thing in or society to own our sexuality and form a kind of identity around doing what we want to do."
You see, when I look into the mirror, I see a woman who is aging, a place I never thought I would be. If I told you I wasn’t afraid of growing old, I would be lying. I have always relied on my looks to get me were I thought I needed to go.
Thinking back to my years of growing up, I wanted to be just like my dance teacher. She was so beautiful, like a full size Barbie doll with the finest clothes, jewelry and a charisma about her that would make heads turn when she enter a room. So, from the time I was a teen to my 45th year of life, I was Ms. Confidence, the woman who was so unapproachable yet desperately wanted your friendship.
My life was heading to a place where nothing was going to stop me from being important. Even if it meant I would end up destroying lives, a marriage and falling into the arms of a stranger(s), all because Ms. Confidence was telling me I could make it happen.
Well, I made it happen. I gave away the most precious gift God gave me at a young age because I was confident that my beauty would keep him and him and him…
Reading Ms. Confidence, I could totally relate to…been there,done that.
My first marriage, (yep, my first marriage) Ms. Confidence decided she needed to tag along. She would encourage me to be a WOMAN and to make sure that my husband knew that I didn’t need him to survive. She also convinced me if this marriage didn’t work out, I could be certain that some else would come along. I played right into her hand, my marriage ended after 10 years and standing by my side was my 4 year old son waving goodbye to his ….daddy.
My career as a dance teacher was my life. I had seen how a CONFIDENT woman worked the room and received approval from the world. I had watched how she would walk pass a mirror to gaze at her beauty, then turn towards me as if to say “You want to be just like me when you grow-up, don’t you?”
I became that confident woman just like my dance teacher. I worked countless hours along with compromising values and demand the approval from the world. My life was spinning out of control. Life was about me, it always had been.
I needed to put an end to the relationship that I was having with Ms. Confidence because if I didn’t…I would destroy my second marriage and my daughter would be standing by my side waving goodbye to her …daddy.
Then I read another statement Lisa made…True confidence comes from only one source—an inside Source—and it cannot be brought, sold, put on or manufactured.
I thought of another woman I once knew who had the quality of this statement. Anyone who might have met her would say, “She had all the confident in the world”.
No, she didn’t wear the finest clothes, her only jewelry was her wedding band and on her face she wore a smile. I never gave it much thought in my younger years, how this woman would spend so much time reading at the feet of Jesus and less time looking into a mirror. Everyday I would watch as the words she was reading would come to life in her heart. She had the confidence that not even Ms. Confidence, herself, would ever achieve. She found the secret to full happiness (which I believe is our next chapter…Ms. Happiness) and that only God could be her ‘inside Source’. No matter what life handed her, she always received it with open arms because she knew God was her purpose for living not for man’s approval.
God has done amazing things in my life since I have allowed Him to clear out the corners of my heart. My marriage has been renewed, my secret sin has been forgiven, and my daughter has a mommy who loves her and my son has watched how God has taken this self-centered woman to being a God-centered worshipper.
I want my life to end just like the woman who sat at Jesus’ feet every morning, as I would walk by.
She was a woman who feared God…she was my Mom.
All purple highlighted is out of Lisa’s book.
As you read this post or ones before it, you will find that I hid my identity and pretended I could control whatever came along. So, in the next half of my life I’ve decided to be honest with God and you…isn’t that what this book is all about? Getting to know who is 'Behind Those Eyes'…right? Well, for the last several days my mind has been debating on what I should write about in this chapter.
It was this paragraph in Lisa’s book that jumped out at me: The idea of making one's own decisions about her body and what to do with it is an idea Ms. Confidence highly esteems. Making decisions about your own body seems like the epitome of confidence. It has become a gender-empowering thing in or society to own our sexuality and form a kind of identity around doing what we want to do."
You see, when I look into the mirror, I see a woman who is aging, a place I never thought I would be. If I told you I wasn’t afraid of growing old, I would be lying. I have always relied on my looks to get me were I thought I needed to go.
Thinking back to my years of growing up, I wanted to be just like my dance teacher. She was so beautiful, like a full size Barbie doll with the finest clothes, jewelry and a charisma about her that would make heads turn when she enter a room. So, from the time I was a teen to my 45th year of life, I was Ms. Confidence, the woman who was so unapproachable yet desperately wanted your friendship.
My life was heading to a place where nothing was going to stop me from being important. Even if it meant I would end up destroying lives, a marriage and falling into the arms of a stranger(s), all because Ms. Confidence was telling me I could make it happen.
Well, I made it happen. I gave away the most precious gift God gave me at a young age because I was confident that my beauty would keep him and him and him…
Reading Ms. Confidence, I could totally relate to…been there,done that.
My first marriage, (yep, my first marriage) Ms. Confidence decided she needed to tag along. She would encourage me to be a WOMAN and to make sure that my husband knew that I didn’t need him to survive. She also convinced me if this marriage didn’t work out, I could be certain that some else would come along. I played right into her hand, my marriage ended after 10 years and standing by my side was my 4 year old son waving goodbye to his ….daddy.
My career as a dance teacher was my life. I had seen how a CONFIDENT woman worked the room and received approval from the world. I had watched how she would walk pass a mirror to gaze at her beauty, then turn towards me as if to say “You want to be just like me when you grow-up, don’t you?”
I became that confident woman just like my dance teacher. I worked countless hours along with compromising values and demand the approval from the world. My life was spinning out of control. Life was about me, it always had been.
I needed to put an end to the relationship that I was having with Ms. Confidence because if I didn’t…I would destroy my second marriage and my daughter would be standing by my side waving goodbye to her …daddy.
Then I read another statement Lisa made…True confidence comes from only one source—an inside Source—and it cannot be brought, sold, put on or manufactured.
I thought of another woman I once knew who had the quality of this statement. Anyone who might have met her would say, “She had all the confident in the world”.
No, she didn’t wear the finest clothes, her only jewelry was her wedding band and on her face she wore a smile. I never gave it much thought in my younger years, how this woman would spend so much time reading at the feet of Jesus and less time looking into a mirror. Everyday I would watch as the words she was reading would come to life in her heart. She had the confidence that not even Ms. Confidence, herself, would ever achieve. She found the secret to full happiness (which I believe is our next chapter…Ms. Happiness) and that only God could be her ‘inside Source’. No matter what life handed her, she always received it with open arms because she knew God was her purpose for living not for man’s approval.
God has done amazing things in my life since I have allowed Him to clear out the corners of my heart. My marriage has been renewed, my secret sin has been forgiven, and my daughter has a mommy who loves her and my son has watched how God has taken this self-centered woman to being a God-centered worshipper.
I want my life to end just like the woman who sat at Jesus’ feet every morning, as I would walk by.
She was a woman who feared God…she was my Mom.
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