Thursday, November 19, 2009

Morning Has Broken


At the sound of the bell...well, not literally.

Dad pretended to be the bell that would sound off..."Ding, ding" for the wrestling match that was about to take place. My sister and I would shuffle to left, then to the right, pause for a moment to size each other up before we made our next move. Within seconds, we'd go round and round in circle until one of us got the perfect hold to bring our opponent to the ground. At that moment, dad would declare the winner...my sister!

Oh....this last month, I've been in a wrestling match and my sister was not the opponent. I've been going back and forth, round and round with doubt. My prayers felt like they were falling to the floor. I was searching His Word daily and coming up dry. I was telling God that I want more of Him yet I felt no connection. I started to compare myself with other bible teachers, bloggers and it seemed that every time I spoke, I was saying NOTHING! Satan was using some great moves. He almost had that perfect hold to bring me down. I was ready to throw in the towel. To step away from the abortion recovery ministry, to stop teaching our womens bible study at church and not be so vocal about my story (God's story)... but then GOD stepped in.


 Jeremiah 17:7-8 But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD,
       whose confidence is in him.  8 He will be like a tree planted by the water
       that sends out its roots by the stream.
       It does not fear when heat comes;
       its leaves are always green.
       It has no worries in a year of drought
       and never fails to bear fruit."
 I had become relaxed in my walk with Him. Even though I was meeting with Him everyday, my roots were just laying on the surface. I wasn't trusting God with my whole heart. I started to believe that if I wasn't getting something amazing out of His word, that He was done using me. I had stepped into the enemy's arena and doubt had it's grip on me.

James 1:5-8 ( Amplified Bible) If any of you is deficient in wisdom, let him ask of the giving God [Who gives] to everyone liberally and ungrudgingly, without reproaching or faultfinding, and it will be given him.
    6Only it must be in faith that he asks with no wavering (no hesitating, no doubting). For the one who wavers (hesitates, doubts) is like the billowing surge out at sea that is blown hither and thither and tossed by the wind.
    7For truly, let not such a person imagine that he will receive anything [he asks for] from the Lord,
    8[For being as he is] a man of two minds (hesitating, dubious, irresolute), [he is] unstable and unreliable and uncertain about everything [he thinks, feels, decides].
I started listening to the lies, then I  believed them and came very close to stepping over the line. Then God placed this on my heart...My  Word is amazing every time you read it.

It was God who placed these ministries in my life, to serve Him and the enemy wanted nothing more then to destroy His plans. I confess that this isn't the first time I've been doubled-minded but it was the darkest. 

I think there was two reasons God asked me to write with "no comments." First, was I going to be obedient. Second, the emails I've received, I was shown that this blog has always been about Him and I've just been the vessel. Receiving comments is His way of showing us that we are on the right path.

So, give Him the glory and leave a comment.

Thank you all for your prayers!

Tammy

13 comments:

RCUBEs said...

So glad, that I can glorify God today with you and leave this comment! I'm glad that you found how active the enemy is in making you ineffective for His Kingdom.

James 4:7 - "So humble yourselves before God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you."

You are being used by the Lord through writing. May He continue to reveal what He wants to say in your heart for all of us. And through blogging, He blessed us with friendships that through that we are able to encourage each other and even pray with or for each other. "Greater is He Who is in you that he is who is in the world." Blessings to you sister Tammy and I'm glad that things are looking up. Thank You Lord!
P.S.
If it may serve to help you, I had posted about spiritual battle:
http://offthebeatentrek.blogspot.com/2009/11/big-fight.html

Beth.. One Blessed Nana said...

It is so evident that satan is working everywhere trying to get his way in this world. I am so glad that you opened comments so we could give God the glory He so richly deserves.

It is so amazing the way He works and I love your post today describing what you have been going through. You have blessed me today Tammy. I will still be praying that God will continue to show Himself mighty to you!

LisaShaw said...

Hallelujah!! Can I just say, Hallelujah!

You know I so love the LORD who is at work in you dear sister! I am grateful for your obedience to HIM and for quieting yourself to HEAR HIM. Isn't that always an amazing thing to do? Amen!

Lessons we learn, wisdom we obtain and the heart change we receive when we are still before the LORD. Awesome.

And now let me go give GOD all the glory for what He's done and is continuing to do in your life and then...

let me go beat the devil down with my warfare prayers to remind him that JESUS CHRIST IS WHO WE BELONG TO AND WE'RE NOT BELIEVING THE HYPE OR LIES!!!

Thank YOU JESUS!!

I so love you my friend.

Karen said...

Amen, sweet sister...you are a precious vessel and to God be all the glory!

sonja said...

Hooray Tammy!!! I sensed your struggle,I've been praying. That great deceiver,satan, just loves it when we falter in our faith for even a minute. We have all been there, and God knows all about these times, and lovingly takes us THROUGH them to His higher ground.
I am thanking God right now for this precious answer to prayer in your life.
Love & hugs,
Sonja

elaine @ peace for the journey said...

Tammy:

My jaw nearly dropped when I saw your title and the picture which is eerily similar to the one I posted early morning! Man, is God trying to speak or what?! I'm glad you're listening to him and that you're allowing comments again. We all need one another. When I read some of those that come through at my blog, I feel so privileged to be a conduit of God's amazing grace. If our words aren't blessing, then honestly, why bother?

You bless me, sister. Keep to it.

peace~elaine

Carolyn said...

Tammy, I praise God that you are listening to the Holy Spirit. He has given you this beautiful ministry and you are reaching many people that none of the rest of us can. The other comments are so true. These are days that the devil is fighting us hard, but we know Jesus is greater, and He is encouraging us to not give up!
Thank you for your encouraging words to me this morning. I was compelled to finish that post late last night, and now I know it was just for you, because you read it early this morning. God is so good!
Love and prayers, Carolyn

Sande said...

There is always a fine line of what we believe we HAVE to do for Him and what we just do because His truths are surging through our veins and we have His compassion and His mercy and His amazing awe of His creation {us} and we know that His story can't be corked in us cause 'even the rock's would cry out'.

I've walked the stressful lie of having to achieve and be successful in ministry for Him ... but He spun that around and showed me that that is the fruit, the outcome of a life enthralled by Him not the goal.

susan said...

Oh Tammy, I can still visualize you at the door of the center,praying for a client, saying,"don't believe the lies" and I sensed God's power. We are in spiritual warfare and praise God He overcame! You have ministered to me in sooooo many ways and planted many seeds and thoughts. I can't imagine my journey without your influence. Press on and know He is God and using YOU more then you can imagine!
I miss seeing you and am glad to connect here.
Love-Susan

Beth in NC said...

Tammy, I think we all feel this way sometimes. Satan lies to us all. He is such a liar.

You are such a light for Him. I am grateful for you.

I know you'll continue to press through Sister and arrive back on a mountain peak.

Love!
Beth

Edie said...

I just love you my friend. I don't know how I missed this post but I'm glad I found it now. Thanks for the reminder that His Word is always amazing. I'm so thrilled that He reminded you that He is using you.
...Soli Deo Gloria ~ for the Glory of God Alone.

(Your navbar is fixed.) :)

tiggerdaisy said...

God's Word is Amazing! I love the verse you quoted from Jeremiah. I want roots that stretch toward the water only God can provide.

Great post!

Prayers and blessings,
Rebecca

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