Lies Women Believe...

Chapter Three from the book Lies Women Believe And The Truth that Sets Them Free spoke volume to me, especially the last three.

All quotes are in blue from the author Nancy Leigh DeMoss.

1. I’m not worth anything.

2. I need to learn to love myself.

3. I can’t help the way I am.
4. I have rights.
5. Physical beauty matters more than inner beauty.
6. I should not have to live with unfulfilled longings.

4. I have rights.

Nancy makes this statement “Women have been told that demanding their rights was the ticket to happiness and freedom. After all, “If you don’t stand up for your rights, no one else will!” However, I am convinced that the claiming of rights has produced much, if not most, of the unhappiness women experience today.”

Claiming my rights put me in bondage. I was told that if my husband wasn’t making my life a bed of roses, will then, I had the “right” to find someone who would. The world shouts “it’s your body and if you don’t want to have the baby, you have a right to have an abortion.” I exercised my right…I had an abortion. The lie was I had the right to do whatever made me happy, but the truth...I was miserable!

Then I read this “The fact is, successful relationships and healthy cultures are not built on the claiming of rights but on the yielding of rights” I thought, Nancy, you've hit the nail on the head.

Philippians 2:5-8  Think of yourselves the way Christ Jesus thought of himself. He had equal status with God but didn't think so much of himself that he had to cling to the advantages of that status no matter what. Not at all. When the time came, he set aside the privileges of deity and took on the status of a slave, became human! Having become human, he stayed human. It was an incredibly humbling process. He didn't claim special privileges. Instead, he lived a selfless, obedient life and then died a selfless, obedient death—and the worst kind of death at that—a crucifixion.

Our attitude needs to be a servant’s attitude. Jesus displayed a servant’s heart. He laid aside His deity and surrendered His will “rights” to a horrid death for our sins. We often excuse our selfness, pride and evildoings as “our rights.” When we act on our rights we can be sure that death will follow…death to our marriage, death to a child, and death to ourselves.

5. Physical beauty matters more then inner beauty.

This message is one our culture preaches in earnest to girls and women, beginning in earliest childhood. It comes at us from virtually every angle: television, movies, music, magazines, books and advertisements.

Yep, this one was talking to me!
Up until a few years ago, my outward appearance was way too important. I worked so hard on the outside that I ignored the inside and it showed. Life was about me. My hair had to be just right, makeup needed to look prefect, and my clothes screamed..."Look at me!" There were times; I would have 5 or 6 outfits lying in front of me because I couldn’t decide which one looked the best. My god was to be physically beautiful, and it became the lie, but the older I've become the more I’m aware of this truth.

I Peter 3: 3-4  Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. 4 You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God.

So, last week as I was preparing for Wednesday night bible class, God told me to present these three lies with no make up. At first I thought I didn't hear right and I told myself it was a prideful thought, no one is going to care one way or another, if I have makeup on. But the closer it got to our bible study, I knew God was calling me to obedience. I tried to negotiate about wearing a touch of mascara and lip gloss but He wasn't going for it.

Proverbs 31:30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last;
      but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.

Now some of you might think “no big deal” but for me it made my stomach turn. I felt naked, like every flaw was showing, as I stood in front of the class. My heart was pounding, because my church family had ever seen me without my "face" on. At one point, I looked down hoping to find my makeup bag lying at my feet, like when Abraham saw the ram in the bushes, but no makeup bag was to be found.Yes, I did survive the night. You may be wondering if I've given up working on the outside...no, but I've learned that makeup is just the icing on the cake not the foundation to who we really are.

6. I should not have to live with unfulfilled longings.

We are encouraged to identify our longings and do whatever is necessary to get those “needs” met. Therefore…if you’re hungry, eat. If you want something you can’t afford, charge it. If you crave romance, dress or act in a way that will get men to notice you. I you’re lonely, share your heart with that married man at work.

Colossians 3:2 Think about the things of heaven, not the things of earth.

We will always have unfulfilled longings this side of heaven. Let me just say, no one person or earthly thing will ever bring us to completion. We must learn to surrender our longings to God and allow Him to fill us.