Monday, August 31, 2009

Just Wondering

I believe that many of us are curious, yet afraid, to ask the question " Why would someone choose to have an abortion, especially when they claimed to be Christan."
Several months ago I received this email and with her permission I would like to share it with you. To protect her privacy I will refer her to : Just Wondering

(if anyone has a question, general or personal, about this subject please don't hesitate to ask. You can send me a email or leave it in your comment.)

You may not know me, but I attend your church First Assembly of God. I remember you talked about healing a broken marriage and how you were able to make it through some really hard times together. I saw your website, and I have some questions. Why do people chose abortion rather than adoption? I can understand if your life is in danger or the child may be severely deformed. I believe that a woman should have a choice because no child should be brought into this world 'unwanted.' However, I have had three pregnancies - two were miscarried. My last miscarriage was in January of 2009. Since then, I have looked into oversees adoption, but the cost is ridiculous, and $20,000 is a modest estimate when all is said and done. My husband and I have taken classes at DSS to adopt locally, but things kept interfering. We asked God for His wisdom and His will in our lives and these 'interruptions' were our answer. So, why do women chose abortion rather than giving the child up for adoption? We would love to offer a child the security of a 2 parent family and the love that God has given us to share.


Just Wondering

Dear Just Wondering,

Yes, I do remember you and I'm sorry it has taken me so long to get back to you excuses, just life is busy. Your question is a good one and I wish I had one perfect answer, but I don't.

Women choose abortion for many reasons. It may be they are afraid to tell their parents, her parents are embarrassed that their daughter is pregnant, or the boyfriend has walked away. The real reason is 75% have abortions because it will interfere with their lives and plans, sad but true!

Which leads me into your comment ..."I can understand if your life is in danger or the child may be severely deformed. I believe that a woman should have a choice because no child should be brought into this world 'unwanted". This comment is so common, so please don't be offended with what I'm about to say. I used to believe the same thing, that if there was a "real” reason to have an abortion, then we should have the right to choose and it needs to be legal...but that is a lie from Satan himself.

Only 1% of all abortions occur because of incest, rape or fetal abnormalities, and 4% are due to health issues. Shocking isn't it? No child is "unwanted." Someone is willing to love that child, and your desire to adopt proves that.

To be adopted is a wonderful gift for any woman could give her child, and I'm living proof because I was adopted. When I meet with girls at the CPC where I volunteer, this is their reaction to the suggestion of adoption. "I could never carry my baby for 9 months and then give it up" and that statement follows this "I'm going to have an abortion. I can't have a baby; it's not the right time." The conflicting statements don't make a lot of sense, do they?

We, as a community, don't encourage adoption. And you're right, it is so expensive.

When I had my abortion, it was for no other reason than "I didn't want to have a baby". When I meet women like my old self, they too wish that they could go back and take the child(ren) that was aborted, kiss their precious face, and hear them say "Mommy". I regret taking the life of my child and now believe that abortion shouldn't ever be a 'choice' ... period.

I hope this gives you some clarity on why women have abortions. If you have any more questions, please email or grab me at church.

I will be praying that the Lord gives you your heart's desire to have another child.



Bonita said...

I appreciate your honesty in answering this woman's question.

Kelly Combs said...

Very honest & transparent. You made a mistake, but you are taking it and teaching the next generation by your mistake. May God bless you heaps!

Anonymous said...

I love this answer. It is so truthful and honest. I see your heart in this. God bless you and your work for's worth it if just one person hears and gets it.


Karen said...

I sent a very heartfelt answer and I know the Lord will continue blessing you and your work....

Paula (SweetPea) said...

Wonderfully said. I don't think there can me is canned answered for such a personal choice. You know? One of those questions we can't truly put our hands around to answer.

Very lovely, Tammy.

Tracy said...

...a beautiful answer given in love. I especially love this statement: "No child is "unwanted". Your testimony continues to touch and inspire me. Thanks for that!

Edie said...

I appreciate and fully agree with your answer Tammy. I know God is using you. I pray that He will open the eyes of this lady's heart to His perspective on the matter.

Terri Tiffany said...

Thank you for sharing both letters. My heart breaks for the reason women abort children. I had one child and wished now I would have had so many more-
You are a blessing I am sure to many!

Julie Gillies said...

Hi Tammy,

Thank you for sharing this personal letter, and your wise answer. Your heart to help women is evident!

Angie said...

Tammy that was a very powerful post!

My only comment to "Just Wondering" is found in Psalm 27:14.

My sister, Wanda (now with the LORD) prayed for over 20 years to be a mommy. Because of her health, she was unable to have children. Because of her health, she was not a candidate for the normal adoption route. But after praying continually, and seeking God, 5 years before she left this life, God answered her prayer. A precious baby girl through private adoption.

And to know that God looks out for the best interest of the child, He blessed the widowed man (my brother-in-law) with a sweet "childless" woman---one who had also prayed to one day be a mom. So, the child has a mommy that she adores here...and one in heaven.

I know with all my heart---God is good, Sovereign and all His decisions are for our best.

Timing always has to be His choosing. We must never try to place our own into His---rather we should wait for His time.

Tammy, sorry this was lengthy, but your post was so awesome, I had to share that testimony of faith---hopefully she will keep on praying and believing!

Pat said...

Thank you fro the ministry that you do and the heart that you have for God and women! What an honor to call you sister!

Pat said...

I have no idea how I ended back up at your comments after about 10 other blogs but I think the sweet Holy Spirit wanted me to correct my typos...I think I meant "FOR"

Steve said...

Thanks so much for giving help and encouragement, and hope, to so many women that struggle with their abortions. I believe that you are God sent, and truly you can help with their pain, just by your understanding, and comforting words. My prayer is that the whole world could see and read your blog. May God bless you

Lori Laws said...

Hi Tammy,
What a great answer! Totally, totally correct...abortion should never be a choice. God took your misery and made it a ministry. Stay strong:) Love ya! God bless!

LisaShaw said...

You always bless my heart with your sharing, truth, transparency and a heart to tell/share GOD's story in your life with others.

I love and respect you dear sister and friend.

Van said...

God is so gracious to allow us to share our hard questions about things we don't understand. Better to be open and honest than to be hidden and uneducated. Knowledge is powerful

Alene said...

Thank you girl for sharing your heart and God's truths. You are a blessing to many. Keep on sister, keep on!

Debbie said...

Tammy... Thank you for your honesty and vulnerability in sharing your story. Truly, God is using you to touch others!

Tea With Tiffany said...

Thank you for posting this letter and your reply. I appreciate you being on the front lines fighting for lives and truth.

I'm praying for God to continue to use your story. He IS.

Love you,


Edie said...

Just stopping by to say hi. I hope all is well.

Much love to you!

KrippledWarrior said...

If a person can go through the act of conception without love. They can also go through the act of destruction with no love.
Be blessed and continue to be a blessing.

Faith Imagined said...

Very good answer!