Tuesday, May 5, 2009


This Sunday as a nation we will be honoring our mothers. Some of us have fond memories, while others are left with sadness in our heart because of the relationship we didn’t have. Mother’s day has always been difficult for me. Not because of my relationship with my mom, but because I was adopted at the age of two. I have always known my biological mother, and if you were to ask me “is that a good thing?” I would answer you “I’m not sure.”
Some have asked the question “What does it feel like to be adopted?” I simply answer “I don’t know any different.” I’ve always known that I was adopted. As a young child, I would introduce my biological mother as my sister. In my teen years she became known to others as my friend. Today when I speak of her, I say “she is my biological mother”.
Many who’ve known, or have seen a picture of my birth mother, say I look a lot like her. Some have even said “the apple didn’t fall far from tree.” I’ve often wondered where and who I would have been if I had been raised by her.
Oh, don’t get me wrong, I’m very grateful that she ‘chose’ to give me life, and knowing her somehow has given me a sense of identity. It must have been excruciating for her on the day she handed me over to the couple I now call “mom and dad.” I’ll always love her because of her unselfishness.
Many years have passed since that day of sacrifice on her part. You could say her dreams came to an end, while mine were just beginning. She has tried to stay connected through visits, birthday cards, and telephone calls. But if you were to eavesdrop on our conversations, you would know that we are from two different worlds. Even though she claims to know Jesus, and I believe she does, I often wondered if she REALLY knows Jesus. Please understand, I’m not judging her heart but I remember when I lived a very gray life.

There was a time when I was a picker and chooser of God’s Word. I picked and choose what I felt was right for me, which as we all know, doesn’t lead to the abundant life. I believe that today you could say I’m a very black and white person when it comes to God’s Word.
Do I believe that all the words written in that wonderful book are God breathed? YES! The bible is a precious love letter from God.

My life now is about pleasing God, to do His will and the plans that He has set before me. I’ve been raised by a mother who demonstrated through her words and actions to love the Lord with all of our heart, soul and strength. I’ve come to understand that when you mix God’s Word with the ways of the world, you start living with this mind-set;
“You have your way of thinking and I have mine, so let’s not judge each other.”

So, let me ask … Is it judging when you state the righteousness of God?



God's Girl said...

Oh... I love hearing about adoption stories. We adopted our little girl and I always pray that she would be grateful for the plan God had for her.

thanks for sharing! To want to please God as your desire... God is so pleased.

I pray that you have a wonderful week!


Pam said...

Tammy, it is wonderful that God placed you with a Godly mother who did teach you by example. I love my mother, but I was not raised in church, but by the world, and the very poor example she taught, which I turned around and did the same until the Lord saved me. You have been blessed by her raising you. I LOVE what you said about blending with the world and not judging one another. Today, we aren't suppose to speak truth, because it will be considered judging. I believe with all my heart we are to speak truth and let it fall as it falls. That IS our responsibility. And also to do it with a loving heart, hoping God will bring them to repentance. The sheep are beginning to be separated from the wolves.

LisaShaw said...

O there is much I could share hear my dear friend but we'll talk when you visit with me in July but let me say that to answer your last question. I do not believe speaking the truth of God's word and His righteousness is being judgmental. Sadly that's the angle many take when they just don't wan to hear any truth or be held accountable.

I wish you a beautiful Mother's Day because you are a beautiful person!

I received your message and HAPPY SWEET 16 to your baby girl too! You didn't say what your date is.

Love ya.


God's Word is what judges.

Hebrews 4:12 says:
For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.

Mother/Daughter relationships are hard sometimes. I know - I have 2 daughters.

Thanks for sharing the honesty of your story... and congrats on being Blog of the Month for May! That's a huge accomplishment, Girlfriend!

Choosing JOY, Stephanie
[JESUS - the One I Worship]


OK - I must be really tired right now... I found out it was your birthday today - on someone else's [Lisa's] blog site.

Happy BIRTHDAY, Girl!

Did I miss something over here?

I would just like to be 45 again!! UGH!!

love ya, S

Anonymous said...

Oh...my dear...I have had a very hard relationship with my mother...we just argue too much...it's a lot my fault, but we work constantly on that.

The truth, I feel is a duty of Christians to share, to everyone. If something is going on that you feel is not right, pray and ask God to fill your mouth with the right words...then speak them with a loving heart...she may get mad, but if she truly is a Chrisitan she will only be mad for a season. Good luck and God Bless.

Psalm 81:10
I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt: open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.


Jody said...

Speaking the truth in love comes to mind. And living the truth above all else. I think we need to love before they will listen. 1 Corinthians 13 Great post.
Happy Mother's Day

Anonymous said...

Congrats on being chosen as Blog of the Month! You have a beautiful blog.


JMBMOMMY said...

As we hear God calling us to adopt...this is one of the issues that I often pray over--how will this precious child feel about not being with their biological mom--will they blame us in any way? I am dealing with a lot of fear over it...thanks for sharing this story.

Karen said...

What a blessing to have been raised by a mother who showed you by example how to love the Lord! Perhaps one day your biological mother will have her eyes opened to the wonderful testimony of your life and really see the amazing child of God you are and be inspired to REALLY know Jesus.

God bless you, sweet lady!

"Just Me - NC Beth" said...

Hi Tammy!

I enjoyed your post...I too believe that God's Word is absolute truth..without error....

Thank you for sharing a little of your "story". Have a blessed day!


Warren Baldwin said...

Good question. I think we can declare the righteousness of God in complete purity and honesty and other people will think we are judging. We can't help that. I've seen people quit an addiction and their former friends thought they were being judged. It was their addiction and guilty conscience speaking.

I think we can use the Bible inappropriately if we are condescending to people in sin ... that may be being judgmental. But if in our heart we are genuinely concerned for their spiritual condition, I think that is ok.


LisaShaw said...

Before the weekend comes and gets away from me I wanted to pop over and say I SO LOVE YOU and HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!! I pray it's everything your heart desires.

Carmen Gamble said...

Hi Tammy, I popped over from Kelly's blog. I'm not adopted, but I have a stepfather, which has issues of its own. Yet I thank God that He's the one that charted my path in this life, and that His Word is living and powerful. Thank you for an inspiring post!

Edie said...

And I missed your birthday too!? Oh my. Happy belated birthday! I hope it was great!

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