Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Adoption...are you kidding?

A blank look appears on her face as her eyes focus on the two lines of her test, indicating that she’s pregnant. This wasn’t part of her life’s plan, well aleast not for today. She looked at me as if to say…what am I going to do? We talked about her options and that’s when I mention adoption.

She quickly responded …"No. I wouldn't do an adoption thing. If I'm going to carry this baby for 9 months, I'm not going to give it up! I don't want to have an abortion but I can’t have a baby, right now."

Baffling, isn't it? Yet, these words are proclaimed most of the time and I’m grateful, because it then opens a door for me to reply... "You're looking at someone whose birth mother decided to do the adoption thing and I’m grateful she let me live.”

My mother was just shy of 16 when she delivered me at our local hospital. She was alone and scared. She has told me many times that the young man, who was my dad, really loved her and wanted me; her parents, however, had forbidden him to have any contact with her. She also said that during her stay at the hospital, she heard him out in the hallway yelling “I want to see my baby girl. You can’t do this to me. She’s my daughter!” That was the last thing he said before he was escorted out of the hospital by the police officers.

Within a year of my birth, she met her future husband and became pregnant with my sister. The marriage didn’t last long. Like so many women, there she was… a single mother doing the best she knew how.

But reality finally set in when I was about 2 years old and my sister was 6 months. She knew love wouldn’t feed us, put clothes on our backs or a roof over our heads. She had to do something, so she agreed to place us in the welfare of a couple. A couple who promised to raise us as their own and they did!

I’ve never doubted her love or questioned how someone could do such a thing, my thought as always been…how could you not?

Of course, it was a hard decision for her to make, we’ve talked about it many times in person and over the phone. She frequently tells me… “It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done but I wanted what was best for you, girls. I knew I couldn’t give you all the things you and your sister would need.” Everytime I hear those words, I tell her how thankful I am that she thought of us and I silently wispher "Thank you, LORD."

Sharing my story, doesn’t make anyone eager to sign on the dotted line for the adoption plan but my pray is… maybe one day some young lady will see the child’s life and not her own.



Jen said...

What a powerful story, Tammy. God is doing amazing things with your testimony. Thank you so, so much for sharing it with the SDG community. We have a lot of moms whose hearts are for adoption!

Anonymous said...

nice post! thanks for sharing...Loves soraya

Wanda said...

A moving testimony of love and acceptance. While some may have been stuck in the fact that they were giving way, your ability to focus on the gift of love and sacrifice your mother gave is wonderful.

elaine @ peace for the journey said...

Seeing the child's life and not her own! What a lovely, beautiful tribute to your mother... both of them. I pray your witness continues to shine as a light to others who are standing on the threshold of unimaginable change. You're a living witness, sister. Keep shining bright.


Sonja said...


I'm so glad you are out there and doing what God has given you the gift to do, understand and share and encourage so many who need to hear what you have to say.

Merry Christmas sweet friend!



Alene said...

Just letting you know I was thinking of you! Hope to hear more good stuff form you soon. Merry Christmas friend.