Friday, December 5, 2008


Two weeks ago, God whispered these words to me “Pray with your heart not just your lips.” I must admit, my prayers for my son have been prayers of doubt. As I praying with my lips, my heart has been holding on to only what my eyes can see.

God is so good! As I was reading this week in (Mark 8:18-19) I came to this verse... You have eyes—can’t you see? You have ears—can’t you hear? Don’t you remember anything at all? When I fed the 5,000 with five loaves of bread, how many baskets of leftovers did you pick up afterward?” “Twelve,” they said.

Jesus was speaking to his disciples, who walked beside Him. Listened to His voice daily and saw miracle after miracle, yet they had trouble seeing, hearing and remembering what Christ had done during times of need and suffering.

Just like the disciples, we too, seem to forget that God can take care of our needs and even provide us with extra. We even at times forget that day He made the impossible, possible.

I must admit when the impossible stands before me; I can not see, for the cloud of darkness continues to get heavier. When the voice on the other end of the telephone is crying out “Mom, how much more garbage is going to be piled on me?” and “Why is God not helping me?” I have the answer but he’s not listening. As my son continues on, my ears become drawn to the loud sounds of laughter as words of doubt are being spoken to me and I, too, stop listening to the voice of God.

This verse gives me hope with that same question that was set before the disciples...“Don’t you remember anything at all?” I must remember. We must remember. Remembering the day that God called out our names and the chains of bondage were broken. We must remember He was the one who put up the road blocks so that our causal drive to OUR destination of destruction was interrupted.

I know that I’m not alone in this journey; many of you have shared your own heartaches for the return of child who has wandered away from home. For me, time seems to be standing still just the way I believe it stood still for my mother. Yet, the day came when I gave her the good news... “Mom, Jesus has found me, I’m home.

So, now when I pray it’s a prayer of seeing the things that are to come and hearing the voices of many angels rejoicing the day my son (our children) says …. “Mom, Jesus has found me, I’m home.
Oh, let us not forget the extra that comes along with the touch from Jesus.


Sherri Watt said...

Oh Tammy,
I hear your heart and the tears trickle down my face also. I have a son who is 24 who told me over and over he wanted nothing to do with my Jesus. Then in March of this year God took him to Texas, away from my influence. I thought all was lost, how would he find Jesus without my help. On Mothers day this year, a phone call came. "Mom, I will be in Heaven with you" He said. Jesus found him Tammy, in a tiny little church in Texas. All is not lost my friend. My prayers will join yours. God Bless!

Jennifer said...

Oh, Tammy...I see myself in your words today and I didn't even realize it either. I know that I pray with my heart most of the time but when things keep going on and on with no visual improvement in my son's life...I begin to pray with my lips cause there is doubt in my heart. Those prayers are words uttered out of obligation to lift up my child daily but there is doubt and sometimes, fear in my heart.

I am also so thankful for Sherri's comment...I need to hear from you and her today. Very, very encouraging!

I spent the day shopping with my oldest son whom my heart has been so heavy for. We had a really good time and he said that he believed that the world was going to an end and soon. That opened a door to talk about what the Bible says about the last days. If he didn't believe in God...he wouldn't believe that the world is going to come to an end like he does.

God is faithful and we must remain faithful to Him and in our prayers...praying and BELIEVING!

God bless you, Tammy...yo bless me so much.


ktwalden said...

Wonderful post! I needed to read this tonight. Thank you for the reminders.

Carol said...


I've been catching up on your postings. I'll be praying for your son. I remember my dark days when I was lost to the world, but even more I remember the day I found freedom in Christ.

Thank you for sharing your heart and love.


Edie said...

He is Faithful Tammy. Keep counseling your heart with scripture. Thank you for counseling our hearts as well.

I'm having a giveaway at my Graphics Blog if you're interested.

mom interceding said...

I love your post. It has really spoken to my heart. Jesus will answer your prayers just as He answered the prayers of your mom for you. Carolyn

The Surrendered Scribe said...

Thank you for this heartfelt post, it was very touching. I'm surfing the blogs today trying to find neat blogs to give an award to. I love everything your blog is about, so I would love to present an award to you for pick up at under the title, "Charmed, I am!"

Tiffany Stuart said...

Sorry to know your mommy heart is aching. May God move mountains on your behalf. May you see the goodness of the Lord in your family. I believe God will answer your cries.

Marsha said...

Praying for your heart. I know the pain. For my son it's three steps forward and two steps back. The pain is just always there.

Bonnie said...

I could feel the Holy Spirit as I read this post. Such a powerful reminder the Lord has given you, and through you, given us all!

Your heart is beautifully shared.

My love,

Anonymous said...

I try to "picture" my sons with the deep peace of our Father. With a love for him and his word. With wives, and children that they lead by example and words. I can "see" it...someday...and I do believe it will happen...not in my timing but His. Meanwhile it is hard to watch them be influenced and make poor choices. I don't want my prayers to be just from my lips-but from my heart.

still praying for Ryan...and for you as his mama trying to encourage him.


Lori said...

God bless you, Tammy. Your prayers will not be lost - God hears every one of them. I am praying with you that the Holy Spirit will draw your son to Christ.

Lisa said...

Tammy, my heart is so linked with yours. I remember not long ago (8/3/2005 through 12/19/2005) when our adult daughter left home and went into the streets and that way of life running from God and from us and from all she had been taught but GOD in His mercy and love swept over her and we lived thruogh the late night calls, the crying out and Lord knows I cried alot! We even had persons turn and not want to help but we stood on the Word and God as always made the way and brought us to her and her to us. It was a journey of love and healing but she has let go of her rebellion and knows that God loves her through Jesus Christ and she knows we love her dearly. She is out on her own but very attached to us and is growing in grace.

DON'T GIVE UP! GOD IS IN CONTROL TAMMY and He has his eye and hand on your son. What you can not see God sees. What you can not hear, God hears. What you can not say, God whispers to his heart. what you can not change, God will change! As you already know, PRAY, PRAY, PRAY for your son consistently and trust in the LORD to take care of him until he finds his way to the LORD and back to you. Until then you have him in your heart and you know what? Your son has you in his heart. My daughter told us that when she was 'running' in rebellion it was my voice, my prayers she could hear in her head and her heart. She said, many a nights she would lay her head down to sleep and cry and then she'd hear me in side of her praying. That's what our God does for our children when they stray and what he's done for those of us when we strayed.

Praise the Lord my dear sister.

Lisa said...

Tammy, I just read what you wrote on my blog, I just wanted to come back by before I go off to bed to tell you what I believe the Lord wants you to hear right now...

"Tammy, I LOVE YOU and I hear your prayers and I see your tears and I am answering. Trust in Me."

the voice of melody said...

Praying for you and your son Ryan. May he return to Christ, and may you continue to seek our Savior's guidance in this situation. Jesus is the Mighty Savior and therefore there is nothing too hard for Him. {Hugs}