#SayWhat

I want you to share. But LORD, I don’t think they will understand unless they’ve been there. Well, many have, but they think too that no one will understand,  that’s why I want you to share.

I had decided to forgo participating in the Blog Hop this week until the conversation above took place during my workout at the gym this morning. I have to say, God at times, picks the strangest places to have a conversation with you. So, here is what He wanted me to share…

Along life’s journey, I’ve been asked the question of how many children do I have and the answer has always been two. But this particular evening, about three years ago, as I was standing with my friend and her mother (which I just meet) in the lobby of a church when the “question” came. With a little bit of hesitation I answered “ I have two children.” Immediately, I heard the Holy Spirit clear His throat saying, “You don’t have two children but three. Go ahead and tell her the truth.”  #SayWhat! “There is no way she is going to understand, if I tell her the truth!” was my comeback. “She doesn’t have too, but you need to acknowledge your child. Go ahead, I AM with you.”

I didn’t understand and I was scared to death but I stopped in the middle of the sentence and said “ Well, that not true. You see, I have three children, a son 28, a daughter 17 and a one who died ( her response was… “Oooh” before I could get to the end of my sentence) because I chose to have an abortion that I totally regret now. I could see in her eyes she was trying to comprehend it, so I continued “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable, but I can’t deny my child’s existence anymore, I hope you understand?” With a half smile on her face, she said “Well, I’m sure at the time you didn’t know what to do?.” With a half smile on my face I left it at that.

We ended the night with a hug along with “It was nice meeting you and have a safe trip home.”

 

Walking back to my car I was still confused with why I had to go there, yet I was relieved knowing I didn’t have to hide him (my child) anymore. On the way home, God let me know that it was important not to ignore my child’s life because you see, my friend, she had just finished going through the post-abortion bible study with me as her mentor. She knew my story and she had learned how important it was to be honest about our abortion(s) because if we don’t shame has a way of creeping back into our lives.

It wasn’t easy that night and when I share “my” next step in this testimony of mine with women who I have the privilege to mentor, they say... “I don’t think I will ever be able to be that opened about my abortion(s).” And I gently reply “All I can say is if He speaks to your heart in this area say #YesToGod.”

 

With All My Heart...

Here we are at the hop, Blog Hop with the Yes To God online bible study, our hostess…Melissa Taylor.

 And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength. (Deuteronomy 6:5 NLT)

That’s a pretty big command…don’t you think?

 

But I look at this way. If it was impossible then God wouldn’t ask it of us, right? We are told in Philippians 4:13 that we can do all things through Christ who strengths me. Maybe that’s why God spoke to my heart on Tuesday morning to stop being consumed with Facebook. He even gave me particulars like, for the next seven days I want you to step away from Facebook, however, you can check it twice a day so that you will stay connected with the Facebook group you are in.

 

I know some of you are thinking…really? While other are saying, oh girl, I’ve been there…keep going.

Well, Tuesday I passed with flying colors. It could have been that I was busy most of day with errands to run, mentoring a woman in the afternoon, the Connection Call with Melissa Taylor and let’s not forget preparing supper. As the day was winding down, I thought about how I had achieved this nudge from the LORD and without much of a struggle. I have to admit I was so pride of myself.

Oh, but yesterday was not so satisfying as my day came to a close. There I was standing worshiping God during our Wednesday night service when I heard Him say... “Not so good today?” In response, I said “What are You talking about?” I'm sure He was saying with a somewhat smile on His face… “I noticed that you checked your Facebook more then twice today and as you did you softly whispered… “Just to see if I have any messages, quick on and quick off” but you see Tammy, that wasn’t part of details.”

So, today, I focusing “again” on loving God with all of my strength. You may be asking…why not along with other two (mind and soul)? I’m realizing that my strength in of my self is the flesh and this (my) flesh will fail every time without being mindful of God's presence. I believe the desire in our hearts and souls to love the LORD is always there as daughters of the King and He sees that, but it’s the “doing” that cause us to stumble.

So, ladies. Repeat after me …I can do all things through Christ who strengthen me.