Changing One Heart for Many...wk15

If you’re visiting for the first time and you don’t know my story (God’s Story), you may want to check it on the left-hand side bar under “My Secret Sin.” I was one of those human beings who needed a heart change. If you have had an abortion, I want you to know you will find no condemnation here, but you will find Truth wrapped in grace and mercy. God has brought you here because He doesn’t want you to hurt and feel ashamed anymore, but what He does want from you is to trust Him with your pain. Will you do that? I hope so. If you need to talk or need prayer, click on ‘profile’ for email.

This week I’m continuing with the thoughts of one grandmother who lost her grandchild to an abortion.

She told me that she enjoyed the company of her son’s girlfriend and from time to time, she would share with this young woman about her abortion. She let her know how it had affected her and those closes to her. I remember looking into her eyes, and seeing the pain of hopelessness as grandmother’s voice became shaky speaking these words “I wish that I could have had just a few minutes with her. I know all she sees right now is a situation and that this is the best solution.”   “You see, I thought the same thing. My life was going places and nothing was going to stop me.”  
I could see the tears gently falling down her cheeks has she continued, “But you know, my life stopped the minute I placed my feet on the floor after my abortion.” “I knew what I had done and I couldn’t undo it.” Then in a whisper, she said, “I thought I’d never be holding on to this secret, again.”

The words that you are about read came from her journal, with her permission.

It’s over. Yesterday your life ended. I tried to convince your daddy that there was a better way. I pray that your death will not be in vain, but will one day bring you daddy and mommy to the Cross. Oh, the Cross… is a beautiful place to find rest and forgiveness.

Your mom and dad couldn’t see beyond the circumstance. I think they believed it was better to not hold you, then to have held you only to place you in someone else arms.

I know the fear they were feeling and the voice that convinced me that there was no other way, so many years ago. I have mourned for many years for the child I’ll never hold because of my abortion. There are times I wonder about all the plans God had for my child and now, I will wonder about you…little one.

Psalm 139:13
    You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
      and knit me together in my mother’s womb.

Abba Father,
You are Holy. Nothing is hidden from You, for You are the Creator of all things. We pray that our eyes would be open fully to the evil that is surrounding us. Give us the voice to speak out for the children. Give us the heart to embrace those who are now hurting, because they have seen the life that was lost.

I ask God that our government would be shaken and brought to their knees and seek You to do Your will and not theirs. In Jesus Mighty Name…Amen!

Changing One Heart for Many...wk 14

If you’re visiting for the first time and you don’t know my story (God’s Story), you may want to check it on the left-hand side bar under “My Secret Sin.” I was one of those human beings who needed a heart change. If you have had an abortion, I want you to know you will find no condemnation here, but you will find Truth wrapped in grace and mercy. God has brought you here because He doesn’t want you to hurt and feel ashamed anymore, but what He does want from you is to trust Him with your pain. Will you do that? I hope so. If you need to talk or need prayer, click on ‘profile’ for email.

April, for the last several years, is Post -Abortion Awareness Month. As long as abortion is legal in this country, we will have women who are silently hurting because of their decision. Nevertheless, abortion doesn’t stop there, it touches other family members as well. From my own personal experience with the difficulty of bonding with my daughter for years, it also reaches deep into the lives of the fathers, grandparents, and siblings. Here is some thoughts of a grandparent who knew that she was about to lose her grandchild to an abortion.

She has given me permission to share with you the struggle that was going on in her heart, because of this act that was about to be hidden in the secret place… a place she was all too familiar with.

As her son opened up about the pregnancy, explaining to her the circumstances that would soon lead to having an abortion, her heart grew heavy. She tried to reason with him. She suggested the wonderful gift of adoption. She even offered to help him with parenting but all he kept saying was… "there’s nothing I can do, she’d made up her mind." The grandmother longed to go to this young woman and share with her the heaviness on her heart, which is still with her today because of the ‘choice’ she made so many years ago to having an abortion. However, he wouldn’t let her, for she wasn’t suppose to know of about this child that had been conceived. If she went, she could lose her son and if she didn’t she would lose her grandchild.

After her son had left for the evening, she went before her Lord in prayer and looked to Him for comfort. This was one of her prayers.

Dear Lord,
We only have a few days, but You already know that. Today my heart is heavy and sad for the child that is inside the mother’s womb. I understand her confusion, thinking this is the best choice. O God, the best choice would  be to call upon You, Lord, to see that this life wants to live.
I will pray and fast, God, for this child. My grandchild. Even through the enemy is whispering lies into my heart and the heart of the parents; I know You have not forsaken me... Amen.

Let us pray for those whose loved ones who have died through abortion.

Our Heavenly Father,
We give praise to All-Mighty God. The Maker of the Universe, we praise You. You, who hear our cries and collects our tears in bottle. We pray, as believers in Jesus Christ for Your love to cover those who are hurting in silence. Who had no voice in the decision of the child, whose life was lost through an abortion. May they be drawn to a place or to someone that can help them deal with their loss. We thank you, God, in advance for the many hearts that will be healed and who will make a difference in standing up for the unborn. In Jesus name…Amen

 (to be continued next Monday)

Changing One Heart for Many

If you’re visiting for the first time and you don’t know my story (God’s Story), you may want to check it on the left-hand side bar under “My Secret Sin.” I was one of those human beings who needed a heart change. If you have had an abortion, I want you to know you will find no condemnation here, but you will find Truth wrapped in grace and mercy. God has brought you here because He doesn’t want you to hurt and feel ashamed anymore, but what He does want from you is to trust Him with your pain. Will you do that? I hope so. If you need to talk or need prayer, click on ‘profile’ for email.

 Several weeks ago, our paper reported about a pharmacist who was charged with his ‘other’ girlfriend’s miscarriage. When this ‘other’ girlfriend told him that she was pregnant in January (he at the time was engaged to another woman), he said that he could use the drug misoprostol to bring on a miscarriage.  It was then she told him she would have an abortion and set the appointment for February 24, but later cancelled it and decided to have and keep the baby. It was then he administered the drug to his girlfriend without her permission, which resulted in a miscarriage. He was arrested and charged with criminal homicide of an unborn child, along with several other charges. Read the whole story here.


We know this isn’t the first time that someone has been charged with taking the life of a unborn child, yet a woman has the ‘right’ to end the life of her unborn child through abortion. How is it possible to think that life is precious in one breath, then in the next breath it’s worth nothing?  This is so hard for me to comprehend, today. Yet, it wasn’t always that way.

During the first 11 weeks of my pregnancy, I made a mental list of the pros and cons of why this baby should live, like as if I was purchasing something of material value. My action was no different then the man in the above article accepts for one thing, that the law gave me permission. I am so confused with the way our nation views this issue I have come to this conclusion…we don’t FEAR GOD!

There are many things that we fear in life. Like someone entering our home at night, that’s why we lock our doors or we look both ways before we cross a busy intersection because we fear of getting hit by a vehicle. Yet, many of us don’t fear God.  I think sometimes we make light of how great our God is. We put a lot of fluff around Him, so that He will appear to be a God who tolerates our actions instead of honoring Him through obedience. I know it's important to show God as merciful, full of grace and loving but let us not stop there. For when we come to know the full character of God, it's only then we can live life to the fullest!

Psalm 112:1
Praise the LORD.
       Blessed is the man who fears the LORD,
       who finds great delight in his commands.

Dear Father,
Praise be to You! Praise to our LORD!  We pray that Your love would consume us and bring forth an obedient heart. Forgive us when we call out praises to You yet ignore Your commends. God, forgive our nation for being double –minded on this issue, like those given the authority to make laws. Let them see that an unborn child is just that, a child.
Father, we pray also for those who have made the choice to have an abortion, that they will know when they confess their sin before You, they are forgiven and You remember NO more. We thank you for Your love that never gives up on us. In the precious name of Jesus…Amen!

Changing One Heart for Many

If you’re visiting for the first time and you don’t know my story (God’s Story), you may want to check it on the left-hand side bar under “My Secret Sin.” I was one of those human beings who needed a heart change. If you have had an abortion, I want you to know you will find no condemnation here, but you will find Truth wrapped in grace and mercy. God has brought you here because He doesn’t want you to hurt and feel ashamed anymore, but what He does want from you is to trust Him with your pain. Will you do that? I hope so. If you need to talk or need prayer, click on ‘profile’ for email.

 Shame and guilt covered me. Anger took residence in my heart. Bitterness was now flowing through my veins. Little by little, that same bitterness was now trying to find its way into my daughter’s heart. I wanted to love her, yet these words came to me often… “You fool, why would you have another child when you didn’t want the one you killed?”

For ten years after my abortion, I tried to go on with my life. I still remember the rehearsed words the nurse spoke to me that day “You’re doing great. It’s almost over. In a little while you’ll be able to get on with you life.”

I had an abortion to do just that, to ‘get on with my life’. Yet I couldn’t. The whirlwind of emotions that was consuming me was also affecting my relationship with my daughter. Then one day God spoke and I listened. He showed me that my ‘secret’ wasn’t hidden from Him and it was time to deal with it! Within a few days, I heard a woman testify of the love and forgiveness that she received from our Lord, when she confessed her abortion(s). She was offering an abortion recovery Bible study to anyone who was hiding this secret and who was willing to trust God. I knew it was time.

These last few weeks have been amazing, but when God is the focus, it always is. I had the privilege of sharing my story (God’s Story) with the Endless Mountains Pregnancy Care Center in Towanda, Pa. and United with Christ Church in Johnson City, NY. In addition, on April 28, I will be speaking at a pro-life fundraiser in Binghamton, NY and on May 1 will be doing a dramatic monologue of ‘The Woman at the Well’ at New Fellowship Church in Endicott, NY. I would so appreciate your prayers.

Through God’s grace, I have been able to speak so freely of how He has taken something so ugly and has covered it with love. After telling my story (God’s Story), women are now willing to reveal their ‘secret’, maybe for the first time. This is very humbling. At the first two events, I had six women tell me that they too had abortions. Let us pray today for these women, and for all those who are still afraid of trusting God with this secret.

2 Corinthians 1:3-4 (NLT)
 
All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. ⁴ He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us. 

 Father God,

We offer You words of praise. We offer You a thankful heart. We offer You  a surrendered life to Your plans. As believers we have seen, in our own lives, the great things You have done and so we ask that the hearts of the women who have heard, would responded.

We pray that they would not ignore Your voice and would no longer cover their sin of abortion. For we know nothing can be hidden from You! 

Holy Spirit, cover them with Your comforting hands and guide them to a place where they will feel safe to finally allow You to heal their pain. In Jesus name...Amen!